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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Challenge ... at Your Own Risk

I have worked with all men for over 25 years. Nothing surprises me.
I have heard dirty jokes, four lettered words, and more things than I care to, spew from their mouths.

I saw something today that reminded me of a challenge from about 15 years ago.

We had a guy I'll call Doug (because that is what his real name is) that would do sublet work for us. We always joked around on the phone and whenever he came by my office.

One day he was in the outer office area telling one of the guys a disgusting story, not knowing I was in my office and that I could hear every word. At the end of the story, he heard me laughing. I think I was laughing more at the fact he didn't realize I was listening.

He came in my office and apologized profusely for his story and kept back peddling that he didn't know I was in my office.

I reassured him that I knew he didn't know I was there and besides, his story didn't gross me out. I told him after working with all these guys for all these years, nothing could gross me out. *side note ... obviously Jack wasn't working here during this time.

Doug jumped at the chance for a challenge. He bragged that he could gross me out before the week was over. I took that challenge and raised it to my being able to gross him out more. He laughed .... as if !

The next day, his coworker delivered a box of donuts for all our guys. He also had a small bakery box just for me. Duh ... what could it be? Yes, the no brainer dog poop.

Doug had no clue who he was playing with. Game on buddy!

I wasn't sure what I was going to do for the next round.

Then, just as today's reminder, I was driving to the bank on a hot sunny day.

There it was.

All bloated, big, fat, stiff and stewing in all it's glory, and well, its juices too.

I recruited my friend Kim to help me. We got a box ... a big box, and a shovel. I scooped me up some fresh raccoon roadkill into the box and we brought it back to her office.

I made a little sign on a stick saying, "Hi Doug" and placed it between the claws of the roadkill. (Ms. Germaphobe here had gloves on). She had gift wrap in her office, so we wrapped the box and put a big bow on it.

I called Doug's secretary and told her I would be delivering the box during his lunch hour and advised her NOT to open it. Let him open it when he gets back. She was laughing saying she had a half work day but now was going to have to stay until he got back.

About an hour later I got a call.

It was Doug.

He said, "I surrender, you win, I am done. If this is what you do in response to a little bit of dog crap, I don't even want to go any further."

He was laughing but I was glad he ended it. I'm not sure how I'd top bloated roadkill.

19 comments:

Whit said...

Holy crap. Note to self, play nice with you.

Robin said...

Ewwwwwww!!!!!!!!!

Remind me to never, ever, EVER piss you off...

dkuroiwa said...

Oh...My...Gawd!!!! Can I repeat what Robin said..."EWWWWWWWWWW!!"

I'm bowing down in your direction..'cause you scare me...I'm laughing...but your scare me!!! :-D

San said...

Oh yeah, I remember it well. Don't ever challenge this girl to such antics.
You. Will. Lose.
Every. Time.

San said...

P.S. Side note about Jack-too funny!

Susie said...

Oh my....

Sugarplum's Mom said...

Your family full of practical jokers taught you well.

Sunshine said...

I will never ever get into a practical joke contest with you!

Ree said...

ew ew ew puke. ew ew ew.

Audubon Ron said...

I’d leave a comment but I’m scared of you now.

Nancy said...

Awwwwe, you guys ... this challenge was all in jest ... we were friends.

Now if you pissed me off ... that's another post!

Mrs. G. said...

Remind me not to f*ck with you!

Joan said...

I never can find roadkill when I need to. That story was funny. Good for you.

lis said...

Well done 'grasshopper' you have learned well...

captain corky said...

That is hardcore!!!

John said...

You're a very sick woman. I hope you never find out where I live.

Betty said...

You're a braver woman than I. I wouldn't have touched it with a ten-foot pole, not even with several layers of gloves on.

Did you really do this?

Hugs (with gloves),
Betty

Above Average Joe said...

Can I hire you as an advisor during my divorce?

Cindy La Ferle said...

Nancy, you continually crack me up... you're a devil on wheels, and I love that about you!