Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Who Am I Dating?

Thank you for the comments left on the last post. I received quite a few e-mails too. Some were funny, but most, real personal, that's why they weren't left in comments. I will use them all for future posts. I appreciate all the questions.

The topic of "who are you dating" was questioned several times.

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know I don't write about that at all. Well, except the hilarious encounter with an old high school friend.

Aannnnywaaaaay, the subject of dating. Men. Relationships.

I don't do well in that department.

I get asked out and "hit on" my fair share of the time.

I've even tried "dating", tried acting on my "lust for" or "interest in" men.

But, the next step of entering a serious relationship seems to come to a screeching halt for me.

So I'm asked, "What are you looking for in a man? A relationship?"

If you knew my past track record or more recent dating habits, you'd know I obviously don't know the answer to that question.

But the question did get me thinking.

I don't know what I am looking for but I do know what doesn't work for me.

So here's a sampling of what doesn't gel with my ENTJ personality.

These are actual deal killers, reasons why I bolted.

I'll put it in bullet form for you Sunshine, 'cuz I know you dig that.
  • Trying to buy my attention.
  • Drunk ~ dials, e-mails, or text's.
  • Treating waiters, waitresses rudely.
  • Talking baby talk. (I'm not looking for another kid)
  • Whining about your ex.
  • Looking to be "mothered".
  • Having to keep tabs on me via phone constantly.
  • Being seriously in touch with your "inner bitch".
  • Recalling your high school sports achievements a bazillion times.
  • Belligerent when drunk.
  • No fashion sense.
  • Into NASCAR [I thought was just the way people from the south say "nice car"]
  • Jealously, needy personalities.
  • Drama, conflict from their kids or ex's.
  • Dorian Gray Syndrome
  • Peter Pan Syndrome
That's a few of the things. The important ones. Some may seem shallow on my part. Perhaps I look for reasons to bolt. But, if that's the case, I can guarantee it wasn't meant to be.

As my single sister Margie and I say between relationships ... Next?


GingerSnaps said...

I love your dating philosophy when things don't work out... "Next!" :)

Ok, so seriously...can you explain (or lead me to where I can get a better explanation) what "Peter Pan Syndrome" and "Dorian Gray Syndrome" are?

Nancy said...

Peter Pan = "Man/Boy" .. won't grow up.

Dorian Gray = Hair plugs & dyes, botox, dresses like a frat boy, fears aging.

GingerSnaps said...

ah, thanks!
I have certainly dated my fair share of both. FAIL!

Fightin' Mad Mary said...

I know a 90 year old movie producer that would love to get your number. Let me know if you want a sugar daddy, my girl GloZell won't mind sharing.

San said...

The only perfect man is the Gingerbread man - he's cute, sweet and quiet, and if he annoys you you can bite his head off!

Joan said...

I haven't dated in so long I can't imagine. Thanks for explaining Dorian Gray syndrome. I wish men would accept going bald. That's so much better than the alternatives.
FYI-I might be from the south but I'm no NASCAR fan.

Audubon Ron said...

You have a young man whom you summon on those occasions when the need arises for *ahem* a little dancing. He digs the older woman thing. Certainly, why would you want commitment when you can have your cake and eat it too? Am I close? What do I win?

PS Are the no fashion sense and belligerent when drunk bullet points negotiable? I mean, I might get a little belligerent when I'm drunk. Why because I'm drunk, not belligerent. See what I'm say'in.

I give you a little while to think that one over and call you. :)

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh I'm with you on "belligerent drunk" -- I love a happy drunk myself.


Ree said...


sgk213 said...

I'm glad I've been married for a bizillion years if that is what you have to go through.

Karin said...

Amen to what SGK said. I'm glad I've been married forever, too. I'm happy to say, though, that perhaps I've been married all this time because my husband doesn't have any of the qualities/flaws you have on your "verboten" list. Thank God. I don't think I (or he) would have lasted if he did!

MJB said...

Let me add a few to that!

Jealous of my kids
Lack of intimate skills.
Complains about paying child support.
Looking for an instant wife.

Oh, I'll stop here...

But remember, just when you think they've moved on...they always come back ...

lis said...

I would recommend you might want to read ''New Passages'' by;Gail Sheehy, it's also on audio could proabably get it at the library. She makes a lot of sense, have listened to it a few time's... Just an idea.
I like San's idea too on the gingerbread man...

Bruce said...

I could use this exact same list to dicribe the women that I dated in the past and why I 'should' have bolted.

My experience is that these traits tend to be prevelant in about 90% of the population, so the pickins are pretty sparse and hard to find. This also goes to show why there are so many dysfunctional 'couples' out there.

Sunshine said...

I pink puffy heart bulletpoints.


Those would be deal killers for me too. Except I don't mind NASCAR as long as they have all their teeth and don't wear driver tees for every occasion.