Thursday, December 6, 2007

Keeping It Real

Mary Alice at From the Frontlines has commented to me, that she likes to read blogs of moms with older or grown children. Maybe there are some advantages in seeing what lies ahead. Certainly it helps to hear other experiences with older kids. Sometimes I bite my lip and say nothing, just because the experience is too damn scary! But we all make it don't we?

I read quite a few "mommy bloggers" ... those having kids under the hell on wheels teenage years. I chuckle at the mini drama stories that are "cute" in comparison to what they will experience in a few more years. I refrain from saying, "that's nothing, wait until you see what's ahead". We all roll with it, but in different ways.

Nobody ever said raising kids would be easy. We can only go by what works for us at the moment. The one thing I have to say is the simple but true, hindsight is 20/20.

With this busy month taxing all our brains, and with the next month a fresh start of a new year, I'm just going to throw out a few of my thoughts since my kids are grown and on their own.

Real moms:
Can buy 3 dozen cupcakes for the class party. Half of them are thrown away, stepped on, or found smashed in the bottom of a book bag anyway. Kids don't know if they are homemade.

Real moms:
Choose to put an overtired kid to bed dirty, still in their play clothes, because an overtired dirty kid in a bathtub is going to be harder on both of you.

Real moms:
Will forget about house cleaning on a beautiful sunny day, instead, go outside and play with her kids. Spending one sunny day cleaning only to have them all in the next day while its pouring, is frustrating as you watch them mess what you just cleaned.

Real moms:
Can't recall the color of their refrigerator doors because they are always covered with art work, school papers, and family photographs.

Real moms:
Know that kids are demanding buggers and will play you like a game of chess. It's better to have a flexible strategy, because you don't need to win all battles, only the ones where "death is not an option".

Real moms:
Make time for real dads, because team doesn't have an "I" in it. "Dad" is your partner first, remember that, everyday. (I say that as a mom that divorced when my kids were 4 and 7 ... and yes, there has been regret)

June Cleaver, Donna Reed, Mrs. Cunningham, Carol Brady, and Harriett Nelson smoked pot daily. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!


debra said...

Real moms listen to every detail of the teenager's story-------again.
Real moms know that the children are their real legacy---long after they have retired form out of the house jobs and other matters of consequence, the children will be IN the world.

Anonymous said...

Real moms:
Your children choose your nursing homes.

Sherry said...

Amen Nancy!! ^5!!! Life is too short for anything else...and stress kills. You are so bang on..the only way those "tv moms" could get through those "perfect" days and "perfect" lives would be with pot...or a couple of stiff martinis through the day!! I think cooking sherry was a very big seller in the 50s and 60s was it not???

Mary Alice said...

Nancy, that was wonderful. My girlfriend (mother of 5 - three of which are teens) and I were just talking last night about making time for the dads. We were discussing how important it is to make time to keep that "team" going, no matter how hectic life gets.

Thank you for this post :-)

Crystal said...

Thanks for the post. You know, I tremble a little thinking of my girls as teenagers. I swear, when I discipline them now, I am totally thinking about the future.
I wonder why so many of those things that make me a "real mom" make me feel like a bad mom sometimes. Not fair!

Sunshine said...

My girlfriend warned me: little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems!!!
That keeps becoming more true!!!

The Hotfessional said...

Yay for us "experienced moms" and the young-whipper-snapper moms that read us!

Gnightgirl said...

Great post. I write a lot about my son on my blog, and it's mostly sweet gushy stuff. He's a good Someday I'll get his permission to write about that *one* time that I locked him out of the house. Oh, and that *other* time when...

There were *some* days baby, when all I could do was think "someday I'm going to look back on this and laugh."

And I do.

sweetisu said...

Thank you for the perspective adjustment. I'm afraid of what problems will arise when they are teenagers.
For now, it's hard to see it from the trenches. The little whiny trantrumy meltdowns drive me insane sometimes..

Keri aka kinnicchick said...

Beautifully written. And for those moms of little ones who are dreading the 'big problems'? Sometimes it helps not to dread so much. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. Enjoy the now.

And anonymous? LMAO! ;)

Thanks for the visit, btw...

my non-blogger blog, yo

delmer said...

Real Dads understand that their boys will one day seek out not-child-appropriate photos of women and when that child is busted and feeling embarrassed will have ready the story about the time he and his brother got caught digging through grandpa's sock drawer looking for Playboy magazine.

Robin said...

Really great post. I can't manage the store-bought cupcakes (it's an illness, I admit), but I'm doing my best on the rest of it.

Joan said...

I think all the whole Brady bunch smoked pot. They were so stoned they forgot Mike and Carol together weren't their birth parents.
Don't forget the Partridge family. Yes, Shirley was a single mom but there had to be some pot smoking in that house with Keith and Laurie joining in.

Carrie Sue said...

Oh the joys of being a mommy.

Jami said...

Real Moms are the ones who take the time to remember what it was like for them when they were "that age".

TX Poppet said...

Real Moms know that life gets sweeter as the kids grow older. Honest.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I love this post!

AND...please don't tell me...I chose to live in the dream-world where this is the hardest time and my kids are going to get nothing but easier!

Real moms drink appletinis! :)

Linda and her Surroundings said...

Buy a cup cake! Are you serious? The cheapest one near here is at least $2.70 and tastes blah.

I often let my son go to bed dirty - who cares, not me.

Nancy said...

linda: WoW cupcakes down under sure are expensive! I can buy a dozen at the local grocery bakery for $3.99

Audubon Ron said...

I wonder if Ward ever did any nasty things to June in the kitchen. I'm just say'in.

Linda in C-Town said...

As my friend who has listened many a time to my woes about my "teen" I take to heart all and any advice you give me. You have certainly given very good suggestions and it has seen me through some pretty sticky situtations. Thank again.