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Saturday, August 30, 2008

McCain Taps Palin

Who writes these "breaking news" sub-titles?
Brilliance or stupidity?
Either way, it gets us talking about them.


Except he's 72 and she's 44 ... the ewwwww factor.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

... and I'm Never Going Back to My Old School*

I saw Ginger's year book photos and I decided to give it a try. After you poke fun of me and get a good laugh, go to "yearbook yourself". Let me know if you do, so I can come over and laugh hysterically compliment how great your photos look. The photos to choose from are 1950 - 2000.

So here I am class of 1960, 1966, 1990
and my real senior picture, 1973 *gasp*







*Steely Dan ~ My Old School ~1973

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sistah Hillary

When Hillary gave her speech Tuesday night, I knew a few lines would be quoted and make for future punchlines. The two obvious:

[thank you] to my sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits...



and
No Way. No How. No McCain. 


But what about Bill Clinton? Did the pride he showed come from his heart? Were the watery eyes genuine? His mouthing the words "I love you, I love you forever", were they from a husband in a marriage that has come full cycle? (sorta)



I'll play the American Fairy Tale card and say I believe so.


But then again, anyone who has been married three times (moi) is a sucker for romance!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Frank-N-Madonna

The local radio station keeps announcing Madonna's "Sticky and Sweet Tour" will be coming to Detroit, at Ford Field, November 18th. I've always liked Madonna. She grew up right here, in the small city I live in. As the photos from her tour are being released, I am *head tilt* not sure what I am seeing. She works out daily and eats healthy (?).

I know she loves to reinvent herself, but ....but ... but ...



... hasn't this look been used already?

Frank-N-Furter sings...
"Sweet Transvestite"

Monday, August 25, 2008

Evolution of the Wedding Dance

This couple will have a great marriage if they keep their sense of humor.
Best wedding dance video I've seen yet.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Friday, August 22, 2008

$24,898.68

Oh boy ... what I could do with that kind of money:

2008 Malibu Hybrid


3 weeks in Fiji Beach Resort & Spa


Buy a Summer Cottage in Upper Peninsula Michigan


Sponsor 65 children for one year


or

Get my fricken gallbladder removed, yeah ... I got the bill.



*I g00gled for the photos and by chance, the Malibu pic is in front of the Mill Street Brewery in my town.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Lucky Cats


Last night I met Ree, The Hotfessional and MommyTime, Mommy's Martini at P.F. Changs for dinner.

Since Ree and I got there before MommyTime, we ordered appetizers.

Lucky Cat Martini's (that's considered an appetizer, right?)

We shared wonderful dishes of chicken and steak, but more so the conversation.

If there are any Michigan bloggers that would like to meet on a regular basis for dinners, we'd love to establish a Michigan Blogger group.

The Lucky Cat Martini


Technique: Shake and Strain
Ingredients: Smirnoff Vanilla Vodka 2 oz.
Pineapple Juice 1 oz
Chambord 0.5 oz, sink in center of glass
Garnish: A wedge of fresh pineapple speared on a toothpick with a pineapple leaf .

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Whaaaaaaa? Wednesday

So I'm sitting on the floor, hair up in a messy ponytail, in an over-sized T-shirt that's torn and bleach stained. I have on daisy dukes that I never leave the house in and are only worn on cleaning day. I'm not showered yet, a dust cloth and Windex at my side. The phone rings, it's my ex-husband, my kids father.



Bill : Hi, busy?
Me: Not really.
Bill: What are you doing?
Me: Watching porn.
Bill: ::: silence :::
Me: Wait, that didn't sound right.
Me: I'm watching porn, but it's not mine, its Bryan's. (our son)
Bill : ::: silence:::
Me: Still doesn't sound right does it?

I went on to explain, while cleaning, I found Bryan's porn stash. I had a rule when my kids lived with me, no drugs, booze, porn, or paraphernalia of any kind anywhere in my house. I explained it was their home, but my house. My house has rules and I will enforce them, NOTHING is sacred. I guaranteed them I will go through their drawers, closets, backpacks, purses, hiding spots they think I don't know about AND that it is my right and duty. And I did.

When I first found Bryan's porn tapes, I figured OK, probably most boys his age have them. Don't freak. It's against my rules though, so I'll pitch them and tell him after the garbage has been picked up.

Then, I wondered. What does he watch? Is it soft porn? Is it the dumb porn recorded off the Playboy channel? Or ... is it the degrading of women porn? I'd hate to think my kid was watching porn where a woman was being treated sub-human. No way would I want him to think that was acceptable. I also wanted to make sure he wasn't into MILFy porn ...yikes!

So I sat there and watched. I suppose I could have just fast forwarded through the tapes, but actually, they weren't bad. Most were just soft porn. Some were, as I thought, amateur clips recorded off the Playboy channel.

I did throw the tapes out and I did tell him. Porn is porn and it wasn't allowed.

This happened when my son was 14 years old. When I met my girlfriend Donna last Saturday, we were swapping stories of how we handled our teens as they were growing up. We were thanking the Lord they were all grown, but still biting our nails wondering what their young adulthood has in store for us.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Analyze This (or not)


The following were search terms that brought people to my blog:

  • Bruised Banana
  • Boob Light
  • No Boys Allowed
  • Blue Martini
  • Boob Chain
  • Hip Hugger
  • Chin Burn From Making Out
  • 40 Pound Watermelon
  • Pete Of All Trades
  • Dominatrix
Do I have an incognito kinky porn site here?

And for the heck of it, here's a Trojan ad that was on the back of a restroom door. A warning to women trolling in the bars:


And yes, I use my time wisely while peeing ... I took this photo.

(I know, using kinky, porn and Trojan will bring more kooks!)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Smorgasboard Monday

Friday night was another great "girls night out" with my friend Donna .

Saturday, lunch was with Donna and our friend Jim, who we hadn't seen in over 20 years.


Saturday night was a surprise 30th birthday party for my nephew Captain Obvious.


Sunday Debbie and I went to Comerica Park to watch The Detroit Tigers lose to vs The Baltimore Orioles .... unfortunately the best part was when our row of seats won a free pizza for each of us.


Kellan at On The Flipside has reposted my post from last February, Profiling Pit Bulls. Check out her site and leave her a comment. Her Flipside blog features other bloggers past posts that open up discussions to different opinions. She's had some great topics. She also has an Upside blog! She is someone I met at BlogHer in San Francisco and truly is a wonderful person.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Dog Whisperer Serenader

I salute Cesar, the dog whisperer, but can he do this?
 
 

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Michelangelo's David

(David Gaya)

After a two year visit to the United States,
Michelangelo's David is returning to Italy ...


(not David Gaya but an unknown who photoshopped this, or fed it trans-fats!)

His proud sponsors ...

Friday, August 15, 2008

ABCD, MEME, ME

Slacker-Moms-R-Us (Kristie) tagged me with this meme.
First, I have to say I am *star-struck* with her.

I [quasi] met her at BlogHer in San Francisco. She was in the chair next to me during the Bare Minerals makeover. If I had her skin, I would skip all the minerals and just stay with the bare look. She's gorgeous!





The rules are to post my answers to a quiz. There are no wrong answers because it’s all about me. Unless I lie to look cooler or smarter than I am.







A. Attached or single? single, married, single, married, single, married ... SINGLE!
B. Best friend? my sister and vodka
C. Cake or pie? pancake
D. Day of choice? every ... it's all about the here and now
E. Essential item? concealer (I have Uncle Fester eyes)
F. Favorite color? pink
G. Gummy bears or worms? no gummy anything
H. Hometown? 'burbs of the Big D, 313
I. Indulgence? lately ... Brighton jewelry
J. January or July? July
K. Kids? 2 and out!
L. Life isn’t complete without? coffee, family, laughter
M. Marriage date? May 28th or 29th I've forgotten, April 30th, and December 26th
N. Number of brothers & sisters? 1 bro, 2 sisters
O. Oranges or apples? apples ... dipped in warm brie
P. Phobias? certain situations make me claustrophobic
Q. Quotes? "The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach
R. Reasons to smile? no spinach in my teeth
S. Season of choice? summer ... and Mrs. Dash
T. Tag seven peeps! (see below)
U. Unknown fact about me? if I told you, I'd have to kill pay you not to tell anyone.
V. Vegetable? edamame
W. Worst habits? moi? you'd probably have to ask the people around me.
X. X-ray or ultrasound? have had them both, but I wouldn't mind x-ray vision
Y. Your favorite food? salmon or any shell fish
Z. Zodiac sign? Pisces (I should have been born a mermaid)

Tagging:
If you've already done this or don't like meme's, accept it as some linky love!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

~*~ Yang Peiyi, I think you are beautiful ~*~

So they faked the fireworks, no biggie ... all for a grand illusion.

The female gymnastic girls may be under age, well ... who can prove it?

But the little girl, with a beautiful voice, with an innocent face ... what?
Not cute enough? Says WHO?

Lin Miaoke and Yang Peiyi

Seven year old Yang Peiyi was to be heard, but not seen.
Instead, Lin Miaoke was lip syncing to the voice of Yang.

It was decided Lin Miaoke had more "the look" China wanted represented.
I'd like to see, face to face, the person that made this ignorant decision.








Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Limited Edition 427 ZL-1

Awesome! Cool isn't it? Great news, finally it's available!

Only 427 of this special anniversary edition made. That's it!

My brother called me last night all excited because he's got one.

Serial number #33

Whoot!

Hu? What is it? Yeah, me either ... I didn't know.


THEE must have engine that was available in the 60's.

Then, it was so costly, there were only 2 Corvettes and 2 Camaros ordered with it.

Recently, GM released #001, it went at auction for $55K.

These engines are constructed from the original tooling used during the late 60's.

All the info and press release can be read here.

So, you want one? Just have to have it?

I know one that's for sale.


Monday, August 11, 2008

My First Born

Yesterday Bryan turned 23.
Where do the years go?


Why do they grow up so fast?
Why don't their dad or I look any older?

[smirk]
Just hush and let me pretend!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Video Dating Service

"bring our truck back
and bring our house back"

His plea's to get his girlfriend back.
Can't make this chit up!


Thursday, August 7, 2008

Oops! He did it again.

Kwame, Kwame, Kwame!

What are you thinking? You're not, that's the problem.



With all the crapola that you have brought front and center to Detroit, you continue to act as if you are above the law.



Thank goodness Judge Giles sees you as (and I quote) "John six pack" sitting in front of him as a violator of probation.

You needed to check-in with your probation officer and request permission to travel. Even if it is on business pertaining to Detroit.

You had time to call your driver.
You had time to call and gather your massive city paid for posse security.
You did not make time to call your probation officer.

Judge Giles doesn't accept your pleas to the court for forgiveness.
Judge Giles doesn't accept your apologies.
Judge Giles doesn't care the trip was just a skip over the bridge to Canada.

Judge Giles thinks you need to be treated like John six pack and threw your azz in jail.

Overnight.

No posting bond and getting out in 5 minutes.

Get used to it Kwame, I have a feeling there is more in store for you down the road.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Whaaaaa? Wednesday


Another whaaaa? I didn't know that.

When I checked out of the Westin Hotel, (this past BlogHer experience) I had additional charges on my bill.

You know the little refrigerator in the rooms? Stocked with drinks, cute little bottles of booze? Chips, nuts, candy bars, etc.? Well my bill reflected I had had a food fest all weekend! There were like $60 in charges. Hu?????

I questioned at the desk and said in fact, I never took one thing from there. Sure I moved a few things around to put my water bottles in there. I picked up the booze bottles, just because they were cute. I read the labels on the nuts and trail mix before deciding against them.

I touched them.


That's why the fee. (They adjusted it off my bill.) Everything is on a sensor. Who would have thought? Each item I picked up was tallied as a purchase. I assumed housekeeping monitored the refrigerator daily, restocked when necessary, and reported items taken. Not so.

Did you know that?

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Really? I didn't know that.


I'm the first to admit I'm no techie.
And I'm only blonde to the roots.

But when I was reading about Karl getting his new iPhone, I had a forehead slap blonde moment.




In part from his post:

“You’ll want to calibrate your battery,” said the dude.
Calibrate it?What the fuck? “What do you mean?” I’m picturing opening my iPhone and hooking it up to a voltage meter with black and red leads, maybe an oscilloscope to check the frequency and make sure I’ve got a nice wave pattern on it or something.
“You use the phone until it’s completely dead,” says the dude, “then charge it up fully, use it AGAIN till it’s dead, charge it up fully, and you’re good to go.”
Oh. That. I thought that was called training your battery’s memory. Because, you know, rechargeable batteries DO have memories. If you’re one of those people that routinely slaps your phone on the charger when it’s down to a half-charge then you’re going to seriously shorten your battery’s lifespan. Seriously.

Ahhhh, so that's why my battery never seems to hold a charge. I routinely slap it in the charger to "top it off".

I'll be letting it run down from now on, so if in the middle of our conversation we disconnect, I didn't hang up on you ...I'm calibrating. (sexy,eh?)

Thanks Karl!

Friday, August 1, 2008

Pros and Cons

I thought about going to work for a half day to organize my desk into piles so Monday I could begin to catch up.  Then I realized how stupid that is. So I'm home. I feel so much better.  My shower and my bed are better than anything Dr. Feelgood can prescribe.

Thanks to everyone for your e-mails of concern and good wishes.

So for those that don't know me personally, I rarely ... I mean rarely ever miss work.  I rarely watch TV. I'm rarely at home.  It's been almost 24 hours since I've been home and thus far I have discovered:

Pros 
No alarm clock, I slept in until 8 am
I'm still in sleep shirt and hair is piled on my head.
The dogs are happy campers since I got home.
I love The Ellen Show and The View.
I am lucky to have a wonderful family and great friends.

Cons
I see dust ..... everywhere!
My torso is covered with sticky squares of glue that doesn't shower off.
The dogs won't leave my side.
I don't get the "Oprah" hype.
I could become more of an online addict.