I started looking around Craigslist. So many categories, items wanted, items selling, employment, personal ads, open letters to businesses and individuals, etc.
I got stuck for a long time reading in the category "Best of Craigslist." This was an open letter post, and deserves being placed on the best list:
You Rule, Vietnamese Waxer Lady
Date: 2006-03-15, 3:44PM PST
My regular waxer was not available and I just could not bear the wild, untamed amazon bush jungle that my, well, bush had become for another day.
So I came to you on my lunch hour, Anonymous Vietnamese Waxer Lady who works at the cheapie nail place. We were mere strangers before this afternoon, but after knowing you only an hour, I feel like I must point out the reasons why you rule.
When it was necessary to get on all fours to do the “taint” part of the wax, you applied the wax so delicately to my bunghole, then asked, in what I assumed were two of the only five English words you know, “Too hot?” I responded yes, it was too hot. And without hesitation, you blew on it to cool the hot wax. YOU BLEW ON MY BUNGHOLE, Vietnamese Waxer Lady. Do you know how special that is? Nobody blows on the bung. Nobody.
Since you were a bit clumsy with the wax, there were many bits leftover that did not get taken up onto the “Strip of Doom” as I like to call it. So without any sort of trepidation whatsoever, you happily took a cotton ball and dug the wax out of my vaginal canal yourself. How did you manage to do that without making me feel the least bit uncomfortable, Vietnamese Waxer Lady? Were you a gynecologist back in Vietnam and they wouldn't let you practice medicine in the United States when you immigrated here, and so now you wax pubes for a living? I know that kind of thing happens all the time, and it wouldn't surprise me at all to know this occupation has not been your first foray into coochdom. And I know this is totally inappropriate, but I even started to feel, dare I say, a tiny bit frisky from the action. You just seemed to know my vagina so very well. Almost like you were two old friends, and I was this new acquaintance showing up to lunch with you and my vagina, but then was all like “Oh. I see you two have already met.”
Since you don’t speak much English, you had to motion to me where to place my legs in the air to best reach the “corner” as you called it. Most people would have been uncomfortable with their legs in the air and then having their butt cheeks spread further apart, mere centimeters from the face of a stranger. But you smiled at me and with a subtle expression, indicated that you, too, felt my pain. You should give lessons to medical students, Vietnamese Waxer Lady, on how to have good bedside manner. Or I guess in your case, ass-side manner.
I thanked you with a good tip, but I want to thank you here, publicly, for your selfless action, and for doing your part on behalf of all humanity to keep my pubes under control.
PostingID: 142248974
14 comments:
Oh.My.God.
What mary alice said ... and throw a "fucking" in it someplace, too! I spewed coffee on my keyboard AND backflushed my sinuses at the same time when I read this!
OMG!!!!!!! I freakin LOVE this!!!! It makes me want to go out and get waxed!....maybe...
This would be such a good Budweiser's Real (wo)Men of Genius spot.
I've never really read Craigslist, but now I may have to start.
what a hair raising story
My blog pal Chic Muse has posted some of her Craig's list finds. You have to wonder about some people...really, REALLY wonder.
OH MY GAH!! That is hilarious!! Absolutely hilarious!
I think I must start perusing the thing called Craigslist.
I only had time to glance at this from work yesterday, and came back for a thorough reading. Thanks for the a.m. laugh; what a way to start my day!
I'm with Mary Alice & Jami. Wow.
Wow ... or oww!
That was hilarious.
OMG, that is hysterical. Craig's List is not for the sheepish... I love it!
Oh dear Lord. Oh God.
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