Pie? No Thanks,umm, I'm on a Diet

I am home from work while my basement (for the third time in 4 years) gets new carpet because the sump pump failed and it flooded. They were to be here at 10am, at 11:30 am was phone call #1 with explanation as to why they were late. Call #2 came in about 1pm and they finally showed up about 2:30pm. Now my half day off work just became a whole day.

So now what? See what stay at home people do all day? After the obligatory starting of laundry and dusting the things that never look dusty at night, but certainly are quite an exhibit at high noon when the sun is coming through all the windows, I was bored. TV? Afternoon options are soaps, The Wiggles, or spiced up court room recreations.

How about a chat room, now there is some cheap entertainment. Less than 60 seconds in a room with an incognito screen name, incoming IM's filled the screen like it was the fourth of July. All pretty much lame questions that segue into boring smut. Hey why aren't these guys at work? Oh wait, they are and being paid to sit in a cubicle and chat on line. 

Then he IM's me ... Mr Pastry. (my chosen name for him for the sake of this story.) He seemed interesting, different approach, pleasant, proper, educated, just a nice guy. The catch? He likes pie ...not to eat, to get pelted with it. Seems being "pied" is a fetish I wasn't aware of. (You think I am kidding, Google it.) Not that it's a bad thing, sounds like it beats the heck out of "nail my testicles to this board" fetish (different story) ...but he wanted me to watch him on cam as he pied himself, all the while I should be typing to prompt him on, or should I rephrase that to "off." OK, Judge Judy and The Wiggles are starting to look more entertaining to me. 

I am glad I have a day job.