Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Great Vacation!

I'm writing this as we are taking off, leaving Ft. Myers Airport.

Damn, couldn't convince Thelma, Ethel, Mary Ann, Sandi to stay longer.

Trust me, I tried.

If you know us IRL, you know the following could only happen to us and it's the truth, nothing embellished ... heck, I think I'll leave parts out!

So, remember at the beginning of our trip, Sandi had a dance or two with TSA while trying to leave Michigan? She lost her ID somewhere between me picking her up at her house and us checking in at the airport. Her husband send her passport to us once we got to Florida, but it's expired. We figured we'd worry about that when and if it presented a problem on departure.

It did.

Expired passports present a problem.


But, let me back up for a side story.

We got to the airport and turned in our rented car. As we were hauling our "carry on's," now 15 pound heavier each, don't ask ... we spied Mr. Hawtness. I'm going to label him as my boyfriend of the day.

Mind you, both Sandi and I got up at 5AM, showered, didn't do the hair or make-up thing and threw on our clothes we had worn on our flight here 15 days ago. Mhm, we were looking "hawt" too ... NOT.

We passed him and you know me, I had to do the checking back over my shoulder. Accccck, I got caught, but wait, so was he, checking right back at me. We smiled and continued on. Do you think I could let it go at that? I had to peek once more, bwahahahahah, and so did he. I'm such a tool. It was obvious he was LEAVING the airport, heading to the parking lot that we just came from.

By this time Sandi and I were in the airport and decided to check our bags because they were so heavy, we wouldn't be able to lift them to stow above. Even if we could, they were so stuffed, the thickness probably wouldn't allow them to fit. I had to sit on mine to get it closed ... twice ... again, don't ask.

As we were standing in the cattle call line that snaked around 4 times, I noticed my boyfriend of the day. I tried to be cool and told Sandi, "Look, no don't look, okay look, no, wait until we go around the next turn, don't make eye contact but my boyfriend of the day came back!" He was standing just before the entrance to the TSA line, talking on his cell. I think it was a fake call. Come on, we all do that, pretend we are on the cell so we don't look dorky, just standing there. (Or waiting for someone to notice you made the effort to come all the way back into the airport to make contact.)

We got to TSA. I told Sandi to go first because, well you know, the next adventure was about to begin. Sure as shit, they put her in one line, me in another. Just as I was about to go through, I see them radioing to security and having her step aside. I stepped out of line. No frickin' way was she going to get to stay in Florida and I return to Michigan. Besides, my boyfriend of the day was STILL standing there. She'd get to stay and make eye contact?!?!?

It was that expired passport that caused her a little problamo.

Sandi explains that whole she-bang about losing the ID before we got to Florida and her husband mailing her passport to her. Mr Cute Security guard asks me who I am in relation to Sandi. I said, "Her sister." He asked me for my ID. (I think he was flirting with Sandi at this point, or was she flirting with him?) I asked why he needed my ID, I wasn’t the one pulled aside. Oh, and I gave it to him. He then turned to Sandi and asked my street address and my birthday. Ahhh, proof she was telling the truth. NOT … he knew she was telling the truth, he just wanted to flirt some more.

Have you been in an airport and the overhead loud speaker continues on a loop advising not to accept any baggage or watch any baggage for a stranger? Or, REPORT any odd behavior to security? Well, as this Security guy was getting ready to send us through, I said “See that boyfriend of the day guy over there talking on the phone up against the wall? He was leaving the airport as we were walking in … blah, blah, blah … I repeat the whole story.” I’m thinking okay, security will be all over this. NOT.

Mr. Security Guy that is kinda cute himself and has been flirting all along, looks over then back to us.

Security Guy :“What clubs were you at last night?”

Me: “We weren’t at any clubs last night.”

Security Guy: “Are you married?”

Me: “No”

Security Guy: “Then that’s it, he senses you’re single.”

:: Blink :: Blink

I look at Sandi and we walk through the check point. As I look back, my boyfriend of the day is walking away.

I said to Sandi, “Damn, I should have said hello. For all we know he’s the bazillionaire that could have kept us in Florida."

Sandi looks at me and puts my ass back in line by saying “What makes you think he was looking at YOU, I think he was looking at me.” Damn, she got me there!

Isn’t there a category on Craig's list where you post about missed encounters?

Hey Sandi? You should list a post to my EX-boyfriend of the day, and get us back to Florida!

We had a blast, theeeee best 15 days evah!

Thanks for so much fun Sandi!


Whit said...

Sandi doesn't know what she's talking about. I was looking at you both times.

Michael said...

Welcome back to reality...

sherry lee said...

Now THAT'S the way to end a great adventure vacation!!

sgk213 said...

You forgot to mention how happy the two of you are to be back in Michigan!!!!!Welcome Home!

Me, You, or Ellie said...



San said...

I still go with Gary's theory that he was probably and undercover detective and YES, he did have his eyes on YOU!