Every once in awhile I do a mental inventory of things going on in my life. I do this thinking it will redirect me when I feel like I am in a rut. Sometimes it's productive and sometimes my brain just wanders from one thought to another aimlessly.
Last night, my thoughts went to things I've done through my life that I'm not real proud of. Which led me to the this thought.
What was the very first thing I did that I consciously knew was wrong? My first choice to be evil, pick wrong over right, to deliberately lie ... and in the final out come, in this case, steal?
I was about 5 years old. RuthAnn lived next door and was my best friend. She had come home from spending the day at The Detroit Zoo with her family. She showed me the souvenir her parents bought her. It was a green plastic flip book about 1 inch by 1 inch with photographs of animals at the zoo. There were about 10 pages, and it had a little snapping clasp to keep it closed.
I wanted that booklet, I had to have it.
We played with it all day. I mostly got to hold it because I reminded her she'd have it all night. As the sun was going down, panic of having to give her that book back began to set in. That's when I made the conscious decision to steal this photo book.
I told her that she should hide the booklet so her little sister wouldn't get it. Although she was sure her sister wouldn't take it, she agreed to go along with my idea to hide it. Of course I had the perfect spot. The barbecue grille in her backyard sat right up against our yards fence. I showed her a little "ledge" on the grille that would make the perfect hiding spot. She placed it there and we went in for the night.
Before I went to bed, I ran out into my yard, slipped my hand through the fence and grabbed the photo book. I remember taking it to bed and feeling so guilty, but at the same time rejoicing in my successful caper.
This is where I'd like to tell you I did the right thing and gave it back. I don't remember what ever happened, but my guess is I didn't do the right thing. Since I don't recall any other details, I'd bet I've blocked out my evil doing.
RuthAnn ... I'm sorry.
Do you remember the first time you deliberately lied, stole, cheated ... knowing it was wrong?