Last night, my thoughts went to things I've done through my life that I'm not real proud of. Which led me to the this thought.
What was the very first thing I did that I consciously knew was wrong? My first choice to be evil, pick wrong over right, to deliberately lie ... and in the final out come, in this case, steal?I was about 5 years old. RuthAnn lived next door and was my best friend. She had come home from spending the day at The Detroit Zoo with her family. She showed me the souvenir her parents bought her. It was a green plastic flip book about 1 inch by 1 inch with photographs of animals at the zoo. There were about 10 pages, and it had a little snapping clasp to keep it closed.
I wanted that booklet, I had to have it.
We played with it all day. I mostly got to hold it because I reminded her she'd have it all night. As the sun was going down, panic of having to give her that book back began to set in. That's when I made the conscious decision to steal this photo book.
I told her that she should hide the booklet so her little sister wouldn't get it. Although she was sure her sister wouldn't take it, she agreed to go along with my idea to hide it. Of course I had the perfect spot. The barbecue grille in her backyard sat right up against our yards fence. I showed her a little "ledge" on the grille that would make the perfect hiding spot. She placed it there and we went in for the night.
Before I went to bed, I ran out into my yard, slipped my hand through the fence and grabbed the photo book. I remember taking it to bed and feeling so guilty, but at the same time rejoicing in my successful caper.
This is where I'd like to tell you I did the right thing and gave it back. I don't remember what ever happened, but my guess is I didn't do the right thing. Since I don't recall any other details, I'd bet I've blocked out my evil doing.
RuthAnn ... I'm sorry.
Do you remember the first time you deliberately lied, stole, cheated ... knowing it was wrong?
8 comments:
Hmmm. I was a bit of a story teller as a kid - and I remember telling Laura Barnum that I could ride my bike without training wheels. I was sitting on my bike at the bottom of my driveway just pretending that I could - and when she called me on it I actually pushed down on the pedals and rode away - for the first time without training wheels. I got lucky. I also remember telling Stephanie Martin that I had a stable full of horses, and when she came to my birthday party there were no horses and she said she was going to tell my mom. I was so terrified that I told her she couldn't, because my mom had just witnessed them all die, and if Stephanie mentioned the horses my mother would have a breakdown. I was such a little liar at times!
You're just plain evil! LMAO!!
Who, perfect little angel moi?!?! Oh my gosh...I'm sure there's something..but I've blocked it from memory!! Seriously...I'll go away and think and then do penance...what's gripping me is not the "doing" of the deed, but not correcting it and "doing the right thing" and that's what is sticking out -- something is niggling in my brain about not having done the right thing and wishing I had....
My mom's friend had an entire drawer of Peanuts greeting cards and I took five (age 8 or 9). I'm not sure what I thought I was going to do with them, but I HAD to have them. My mom found them and I was busted. Funny how these things stick in your head.
There was a crystal radio kit at a department store. It cost more than I'm sure my mother would have spent (or so I thought) so I changed price tags with another item and shaved, I think, a dollar off it.
I was about 6 or 7 and I stole bubble gum out of an open bag in the supermarket. A man was watching me, and he approached me after I had taken a few pieces of gum. My heart stopped as he said, "I know what you're doing. Put them back."
I was daunted.
Hugs,
Betty
yes, I had nasty thoughts about one of my mom's friends and one day I grabbed her breast - right there. Little has changed since then.
Lieing without hesitation started very young, it was actually called ''survival'', to avoid 'the belt or paddle'..
You know how parents would say 'it will be better for you if you tell the truth', they 'LIED', well mine did...
So gotta say we had good teachers on the subject....
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