Shallow Seeks Same

When I first saw this local "news" story, I thought it must be a slow day for them to even feature this. They even ran ads for this story, "coming at 6PM yadda yadda yadda."

Then San sent me a link to the story that included the qualifications, instructions and the application ... oh and the application fee. FEE. Then I saw it made Fox news and was copied to Yahoo news. Bwahahahahaha

[Okay, back to keeping a straight face here]

So locally, (less than 10 minutes from my 'hood) Mr. single, 44 years old, drives an American made car, wanting a family, I AM A MILLIONAIRE, has hired matchmaker Janis Spindel to find his little woman. (That's the only info revealed about Mr. Wonderful)

Let me step aside for one second with these bits. He's paying her a "finders fee" of $50K to start, could be more if it takes longer. She's charging $25 bucks to the applicant, just to be considered. Do you see where I'm going ... mm-hum, yes you do so I'll stop with that whole scheme train of thought.

Now, Mr. Birmingham Man, (Birmingham is quite a snobby, snoody, uppity city) I'll save you the $50K and lay it out in laymen's terms.

You state the four B's are a must : Beauty, Brains, Body, and Balance.

You are marketing yourself as a millionaire, so you are in fact, BUYING your four B's. Mouthing off about your $$$ is a big neon sign asking all wallet trollers to line up and pick a number.

I surmise, you too, must have the four B's qualities:

Bad-looking, Boring, Brainless and most likely BROKE.

Save your $50K, hit up the well known local pick-up joints establishments, flash a few of your charge cards around and they'll line up like flies on shit. Oops, such an analogy.