Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Dear Voters,

I entered my local precinct middle school cafeteria at 8:12 AM.

The line snaked back and forth with just about a foot in between each row. Wow, ya'll never showed up like this for other elections I've voted in. Welcome, glad to see you.

Good morning Mr. Nice Black Suit standing in front of me talking on your Crackberry, thanks for smoking that big fat doobie before you came in. I think the second hand smoke is the inspiration for this post.

And Mr. Yellow Teeth behind me, it would have been swell if you could have taken a quick shower and brushed those babies before walking out the door. I'd even settle for some Old Spice and Listerine!

Dude! Yeah you with the baggy ass jeans down to where your boxers are showing. Yeah, you with the piercings in your nose and a disc hole in your ear ... you rock. I don't care what you look like, that was awesome of you to offer your very-close-to-the-front place in line to the pregnant lady that looked uncomfortable and ready to burst. ^5 dude, she appreciated it and so did I.

Um, Little Ms. Shocking Pink Hair? Your skirt is waaaaay to short and your knee-high socks don't match. Your gobs of Goth makeup is a wee bit much for me but, you were so sweet and polite talking to the old lady standing in front of you. Helping her with her I.D. and explaining how the line snakes around three more times before she can vote. I am glad to see your young-self voting.

How nice of all the elderly volunteers helping at my precinct. 'Cept, most of us had to get to work and even though it's a grand social time for you, it would have been nice if their were younger FASTER people peppered amongst you to speed things along. Jim? We really didn't need to hear about your Sunday golf game. You stopped checking people in while you told the story. Either multitask or shut the pie hole.

Gramma? Was that a "poof" ripping between your cheeks or did you just shit your pants? Either way, glad you are behind me .... errr, until the line snakes past you.

Hey Young Mom with a toddler and a screaming baby, (((HUGS))) I don't care that one kid is running around and the other one is crying. Screw the nasty looks from the impatient people that forgot what it was like to have little ones. I'm just glad you are here voting!

Me? I'm finally next to vote?

shit-fuck-damn-sonofabitch-grrr, I can't believe I left my glasses in the car.

But I was able to vote OBAMA, no problamo!

Thank you all for such a memorable election day 2008!

God Bless America,


John said...

My precinct? In. Out. Less than 5 minutes. No muss, no fuss.

: )

Happy Election Day, Marie Millard.

Lady Jaye said...

Praise the Lord for early voting. I was in and out in 5 minutes AND only had to relatively normal looking adults in front of me and a couple of college kids behind me. Good times.

Karin said...

Woo hoo! It's finally election day! I was in and out in 10 minutes, but there was a steady flow of people. Nice to see everyone out casting their votes. Can't wait to see who's on top at the end of the day....

Gnightgirl said...

I was at the polls at 6 a.m., and home by 7:05. A bit chaotic, but I assured the grouch in front of me that they'd get it together...before I ignored him.

What a day. Go Obama!

Joan said...

I had a 20 minute wait much thanks to a strong turnout for early voting. Everyone in line today was boring.

Michael said...

I see a common theme between our voting experiences...I feel a blog post coming.

Mary Alice said...

The kid with the baggy jeans and the piercings....I love him....what a good guy.

Bruce said...

Home of the free - land of the brave. A melting pot indeed.

GingerSnaps said...

I early voted and had a 45 minute wait to cast my vote.

What is up with the elderly volunteers and no younger folks to help them move things along? Same situation with our area, too. Bless their hearts, anyway. They have a hard job, and I'm glad they are there.

Great post! :)

Ree said...


I love the young ones getting out there. And yea, I think we had the old people's cousins in Ann Arbor.

Katelin said...

it took me 40 mins, not too shabby.

Betty said...

My hat's off to those youngsters in your voting lineup. The dude let the pregnant woman go ahead of him and the pink haired girl helped an old lady. Cool. And I have definitely noticed that the poll workers are all elderly...hmmm.....


sgk213 said...

and that is why this household voted by absentee ballot. All three of us. Sat around the kitchen table and discussed the whole ballot. I will never stand in those awful lines again. It was great.

Audubon Ron said...

Voting with the great unwashed.

I’m not a user.

PS: You do love me more than John, right?