Wednesday, March 30, 2011

No Cat Fight - A Bonded Alliance

I have quite a few girlfriends.  I have several female soul mates. I am lucky to have found kindred spirits. I have a few long time friendships I consider to be best friends for life.

And then there’s Jane.

Jane, the other woman.

I met Jane several years ago.  The time line is kind of foggy now, but the story of meeting her is crystal clear.

I had been dating someone for almost a year.  There was a physical distance between he and I so for the most part, we only saw each other every other week.  On the weekends my kids were with their dad, I’d drive after work on Friday’s and stay through Sunday afternoon. We’d talk on the phone daily and throughout the evening.

I never suspected a thing … thing being “Jane”.

He was a musician. Moot point because any man can have another woman, but the fact he was in a pretty well know band is what brought him down.  Like most bands, there were fan sites on line.  Open chats, places for comments, fan pages, etc.

He’d always tell me not to read the “crap” women put out there because most were “wanna be girlfriends”.  I understood, and when I read some of the “crap” I let it roll off my confident back. 

One day, when reading a thread, I noticed “Jane” being all territorial over him. The odd thing was, she made a few comments and phrases that were all too familiar to me. She was quoting things that I was certain someone would have to know him personally to repeat.

The nerve of her! I called him out on it and he explained she was some obsessed fan and to ignore her. I watched over that fan site for a few days.  I also watched over his mannerisms. I began to notice things around his home that weren’t “quite right”.  The seeds of a cheater were beginning to bloom.

So me being me … I contacted her.  I felt horrible after our first phone conversation.  Oh he was cheating all right.  He had been in an on going relationship with this woman for over five years.  He was cheating on her with me!

Oh. No. You. Don’t.

Sparing the emotional time Jane went through, I’ll fast forward.  I was hurt for all of about 2 seconds …. then I was PISSED. All these years she had been helping this struggling musician.  Emotionally, financially, physically.  Together, they had made promises, they had hopes and dreams. 

And he? He had a furnished living room, bedroom, and kitchen.  A car, a few guitars, clothes, etc. compliments of her their relationship.

Jane and I had never met … until the morning I picked her up. She didn’t have a key to his home but for whatever stupid reason, he gave me one.  And so it began.  We spent the day together laughing, fuming and bonding and emptying out his home of all the things that belonged to her. Thank goodness I had an extended SUV. How did we fit all that stuff in there?  Probably out of pissed-off, adrenalin fueled, determination. Do not ever underestimate the power of a woman’s bond.

So that’s how Jane and I met.  She is happily married, having just celebrated a 5 year anniversary. To this day we have a bonded friendship that will always be. Love ya Jane!

Oh … what ever happened to good ole Ass-Wipe? Who cares?


Sherry Smyth said...

Now that is a friendship, born of a common bond indeed! I can't imagine you being you, being anything but pissed at this ass wipe and what did he get from this? what he deserved. And I'm sure he has gone on to play this game several more times.

"Jane" was indeed lucky and blessed to have met you. Had she not she would most likely still be with ass wipe and not have known the great relationship and what a great relationship is over these past 5 years.

You rock! ♥

Anonymous said...

Jane ~(raises hand!) =)
I know what happened to the A. Wipe! We shook him up SO badly, that he married the very first thing,oops,I mean girl, to come down the pike! LOL
Poor,poor unfortunate gal.

I love you too Nancy and I appreciate you asking my opinion before posting this. <3 You and I truly are bonded for life in a good way! I too am so glad that you had such a big SUV lol and I never will forget the day you called and said "hey, let's atleast get some of your stuff back!" The tables were turned that day. Literally, because they were mine too! OMG Girl. Love you always and you and me, will (Always Be.) xoxox
P.S. Please post this, it's too funny not to! =) <3

Nancy said...

Sherry: I was just as blessed to have met Jane.

Jane: 2 words - Always Be

Sherry Smyth said...

OH...I'm so glad Jane has commented too!! And Nancy, that you asked Jane's permission before writing this speaks as always to your character.

I have this visual of the two of you packing that SUV...Thelma and Louise with a happy ending!