Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tanya Phunker

As we were going through the Country Music Hall of Fame, I came across this dress and tidbit of info on Tanya Tucker.

Instantly, the Rolodex in my mind started spinning. As I have posted before, I have many stories of concerts and musicians.

Seeing her dress cracked me up and I recalled a "Tanya" story.

In 1994, I had a boyfriend, I'll call him *Frank*, who laaaaa-ved Tanya! She was coming to perform locally and so I surprised him with tickets. Great tickets, like so close I am sure I saw the boogers in her nose kind of tickets. Yeah, I'm convinced she had nasty boogers.

She was wearing this (sweat soaked) red, white, and blue shirt during her performance and promised to auction it off (ewwww and pew) after the show, proceeds going to a local charity. Indeed, she removed it after the show and the auction began. [She had a tiny camisole under the shirt that revealed she had horrible back acne.]

*Frank* was bidding like crazy, but didn't win the shirt. He was so disappointed. I decided next best thing would be to get him back stage to meet her.

I used my persuasive oratory and sure enough she was sitting there holding court for her mostly male fans.

*Frank* was a very hot looking guy and once we made our way up to her, she began talking with him.

Hummm, is she flirting?

It was late, party over and security was boot-scooting everyone out. Tanya got up and we were asked if we'd ... WE'D AS IN BOTH OF US ... like to step out to the tour bus.

Did I hear a "hail yeah"?

Her security ushered us out the back door and the bus was there with the door open. She stepped in and *Frank* was right on her heels. Just as I approached the opening, about to take my first step up ::: slam ::: the doors were closed.


I turned around, security was ignoring me. Everyone was ignoring me, especially Tanya.

So being the mature pissed-off lady that I was, I fist-pounded on the glass doors alternating flipping off the security guy in the bus while yelling "Open this f'ing door you zit-back bitch."

I know ... not a cool visual, eh?

To *Frank's* credit, he thought the whole thing crazy and shady and at the same time was backing up, out of the bus and trying to exit.

"Hey boy, git back here. I ain't done"

That was it, we left, security didn't say a thing, and neither of us could believe what happened.

So, I am not really a fan of hers.

I'm sure the whole thing was a big misunderstanding. [smirk]


Mz. Nesbit said...

that's totally gross and creepy. lol

Sherry said...

OMG - Tanya didn't know, she just didn't know that she picked the WRONG woman to scorn to her face...slamming the door on you?!? On THE Marie Millard!! She'll know better next the way...Tanya WHO?!?!? lol!!!

John said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Robin said...


Ellie said...

Ha! I wonder what she was planning on doing to ol' *Frank*...

lady jaye said...

Funny that John mentions meeting Jack Shit. I believe I met him in Nashville as well.

I love this story and the pictures really pretty much make it!

GingerSnaps said...

bwahahaha! Tanya certainly has made an enemy or three through the years...especially of the a few men's ladies!

By the way, I know Jack Shit; Jack Shit is a friend of mine. You, Tanya Tucker, don't know Jack Shit.

Nancy said...

J,G,L: Wait until I tell you MY story about Jack Shit!

Joan said...

what a funny story. I never got Tanya Tucker's appeal.

Terri said...

why am I not surprised??? Another great story!

Ree said...

Tanya Tucker used to play the annual Policeman's Ball in Michigan. Ask me how I know. ;-)

linda in c-town said...

I never tire of your stories! Thank you for always entertaining me.

jennyonthespot said...

Oh my gosh - that's crazy!!! I love your little quote as you banged on that tour bus door!

dkuroiwa said... brother knows Jack Shit...he's got the t-shirt to prove it!
Tanyaaaaaa....remember when she was married to Glen Campbell and there was the news about the knock-down-drag-out drunken fight they had in their driveway?!?! I love a good love story! don't really like Tanyo (or Glen) though...

Greg C said...

Sounds like Tanya wanted Frank all to herself. I always liked Tanya. I like my women a little on the trashy side and Tanya invented trashy. Just think, Frank missed his chance to be the one millionth satisfied customer. :)