The Kiss

Dedicated to Sunshine's husband and all the other firemen who risk their own lives to save others.

She is pregnant.

He had just saved her from a fire in her house.
He carried her out of the house into her front yard
then continued to fight the fire.

When he finally finished putting the fire out,
he sat down to catch his breath and rest.

A photographer from the local newspaper
noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman.

As he watched her walk towards the fireman
who had just saved her life and the lives of her babies,
he raised his camera.

She thanked him with a kiss
just as the photographer snapped this photograph.

I'm Trying to Understand You Miley

So if I understand correctly, famous photographer Annie Leibovitz, took a series of photos to be used in Vanity Fair Magazine of Miley Cyrus. Miley's parents, aunt and other adults were all at the photo shoot. The digital photos were looked at by all as they were being taken.

Now, Miley feels embarrassed and tricked by Annie into posing for shots like this:


But Miley feels perfectly okay posting shots on her myspace taken by her friends of her posing like this:

or this ...
or this one...

I don't like any of those shots, she's just 15 years old. Also, I feel the creepy factor about her posing like this with her dad:

Monday Moanin'

I'm a patient person. I know chit happens. Some things just can't be helped. There are things that don't always work out, but I figure as long as all is good in the end, why get all pissy about it.

So Saturday, when my new range, refrigerator, dishwasher and microwave was delivered, there were a couple blips in the screen.

First, I ordered LG white appliances with brushed nickel handles from Home Depot. Before I paid for the order, I made the salesman check and double check to be sure they were all in stock. I also requested they take away all my old crap appliances upon delivery.

Friday, I got the call from Home Depot saying delivery would be Saturday between 8:00-12:00. Since I was going out Friday night, to the Bossy Bash, I secretly hoped I was more 12ish. I digress.

Saturday morning, I got a call at 7:15am saying I was their first delivery. They'd be here at 8:00am. Oh joy. I dragged my butt out of bed, inserted my Java IV and began emptying the dishwasher and refrigerator.

They showed up and in a flash had all my old appliances out in my driveway. I was still on the Java IV therapy when I saw the range coming through the door. Uh-oh ... wrong one bub. He called the warehouse and found out the one I ordered was going through a model changeover, and they no longer make the brushed nickel handle. Strike one. He told me to keep this range and they will send out someone to change the handle. I asked if the holes will line up, they assured me they will but I'm thinking not. We shall see.

In comes the refrigerator. Looks good, fits perfect. They hook up the water line for the ice maker. Set the temps, I through all my stuff in it and watch as the dishwasher comes in.

As I'm sitting watching them install the dishwasher, I notice a discolored like scratch on the refrigerator ... covered with appliance paint ... about 15" long, ending with a dimple dent. Crap strike two. The delivery guy said since he already took the old one out, just call after he leaves and say I want it changed out because I noticed a scratch. OK, I can understand him not wanting to lug them in and out again, I can do that. See, I'll work with ya!

They finish the dishwasher, ran it and it works.

After they left, I sat on my couch to call Home Depot to report the scratch. As I was on hold, forever, I noticed my eye view of the dishwasher revealed a 1 inch gap between the counter and the top of the dishwasher. I could see the insulation. Strike three. Eh, no biggy, as long as they have to come back, they can take care of that. So I talk to the salesman.

New handle for range coming. Check
New refrigerator coming. Check
Adjust dishwasher to fit in space. Check

They weren't going to install the microwave because they wanted an obscene amount of money to connect the wires (that are already there from the previous hood fan I removed) to an electrical box. I figured I'd ask my step-father when he and my mom get back from Florida.

I read the instructions for the refrigerator. It takes 12-24 hours to completely cool down and the automatic ice maker to start. I went out with the girls that night and when I came home, I never checked the refrigerator.

Sunday morning, I got up, took a shower, got dressed, drove my "trying to keep it together" self to Home Depot and politely said, "My name is Nancy D and I called here about my delivery yesterday. I've been patient, but this morning, my house was colder than my refrigerator when I woke up. My frozen Weight Watchers dinners are all thawed and my Weight Watchers fudgesicles are all melted, as are my Victoria Beckham's Diet Secret bags of edamame, and various other things. Caitlin's wrist corsage from prom 2 years ago is wilting Mister!"

The guy was cool. I kept my 'tude in check, but he knew I wasn't happy. He said a new refrigerator is scheduled for delivery this Thursday and he will call first thing this morning to see if it can here sooner. He said LG will compensate for my having to pitch everything in my refrigerator and freezer.

I didn't act like a loony woman, but I think I will tell them for all the f-ups, I want my microwave installed free. Who wants to bet when it is unboxed, it is either wrong or won't fit?

Oh yeah, one more thing. I ordered all new door knob/levers for the rooms I just finished painting. In Brushed Nickel. They came last week. In Antique Bronze. Let's see if the replacements come in correct this week. [smiles]

Per Esquire Magazine ...

Things a man should never do after the age of thirty:

1. Use the word party as a verb.

2. Shots.

3. Body shots.

4. Jell-O shots. Especially Jell-O shots.

5. Read a book with the words Zen and The Art of in the title.

6. Do impressions of Austin Powers characters, especially Dr. Evil.

7. Help friends move.

8. Ask friends to help you move.

9. Crash on a friend's floor or couch.

10. Refer to breasts as "chesticles."

11. Experiment with facial hair.

12. Let your underpants show above your jeans or below your shorts.

13. Apply paint to your face for any reason at all.

14. Own beer-drinking paraphernalia.

15. Own a skull bong.

16. Know the names of the current Real World cast.

17. Remove your shirt in public--unless there is sand and a large body of water nearby.

18. Use the word dude, except when referring to a ranch or a well-dressed Englishman.

19. Use the word dawg in a sentence when referring to a friend or, worse, yourself.

20. Own a futon.

21. Own a beanbag chair.

22. Hang art framelessly.

23. Hang tapestries.

24. Drink malternative beverages.

25. Don a puka-bead necklace.

26. Google ex-girlfriends.

27. Break up with a girlfriend by e-mail.

28. Engage in pranks involving airborne food.

29. Own a Lava lamp.

30. Pool hop.

31. Live with someone you don't sleep with.

32. Share a hotel room with someone you don't sleep with.

33. Play fantasy sports.

34. Divide a restaurant bill with a friend in any way other than 50-50.

35. Sleep past 10:30.

36. Refer to a woman's genitalia as her "nappy dugout."

37. Cook exclusively on a George Foreman grill.

38. Wear a jersey with the name of a professional athlete on the back.

39. Employ any other pickup line besides "Hi, my name is _____. What's yours?"

40. Listen to Pink Floyd.

41. Use Internet acronyms, especially ROFL and LOL.

42. Shave any part of your body except your face.

43. Enjoy Jerry Bruckheimer movies.

44. Run with the bulls in Pamplona.

45. Attend Mardi Gras, Carnaval, or Burning Man.

46. Own a fish tank.

47. Fall asleep in public.

48. Call drugs by their street names (e.g., junk, smack, or whitebag).

49. Pick a fistfight by thrusting out your neck, flexing, and screaming, "It's go time!"

*** I decided to add one of my own thoughts***

50. Program sound bites or goofy songs as a ringtone in your cell phone.

I don't agree with everything on this list. It would make for a pretty boring guy, but there are a lot that I totally agree with. * photo g00gled, and actually a 12 man beer bong seems quite ingenious for a tailgate party.

Bossy in Day-twaah

I have been following all the posts about Bossy's Excellent Road Trip. After each stop she makes, I'd check out the posts of other bloggers that met up with her. Everyone said the same thing. Bossy is so beautiful and so sweet. I'd think, "Why of course, what else can they say?" Not that I'd think otherwise.

Well, last night Bossy came to the Detroit area. Ya know what? They are all right. Georgia is a natural beauty. She's so tall and the good kind of healthy thin. Her voice is soft and she's so sweet. The kind of BBF everyone would love to have. Such a genuine person, really.

The hostess for the evening, Mommy's Martini, was so kind to invite all of us into her lovely home for eats, drink, and merriment. It was nice to meet these fun ladies. We should try to get together more often. (Nancy, I'll go to Baker's Keyboard Lounge anytime with you!) Since I had been up since 5:00am, I left before the White Castle run they made. Maybe that is a good thing *smiles*

I swiped this photo that Bossy took of us off her page.

Doesn't Tiffany look like Bree from "Desperate Housewives"?
Tiffany is way more relaxed and cooler than Bree.

Keepin' It Real ... Kinda

I've never worn padded bra's.

I've never worn butt shaping panties either.

I always wondered if men were disappointed once the "reveal" showed the voluptuous boobs in fact, were the effect of a gel filled Wonderbra. Or, if the rounded, tea-cup-holding ability of a woman's ass, proved to be skinny or saggy.

Regis was showing Kelly these padded briefs for men this morning.

I'm not one to check out men's "packages" [ahem] but on the occasion I may watch as they are walking by, I'll have to remember these. I think I would feel slighted if what I was seeing was an illusion.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Every once in awhile I do a mental inventory of things going on in my life. I do this thinking it will redirect me when I feel like I am in a rut. Sometimes it's productive and sometimes my brain just wanders from one thought to another aimlessly.

Last night, my thoughts went to things I've done through my life that I'm not real proud of. Which led me to the this thought.

What was the very first thing I did that I consciously knew was wrong? My first choice to be evil, pick wrong over right, to deliberately lie ... and in the final out come, in this case, steal?

I was about 5 years old. RuthAnn lived next door and was my best friend. She had come home from spending the day at The Detroit Zoo with her family. She showed me the souvenir her parents bought her. It was a green plastic flip book about 1 inch by 1 inch with photographs of animals at the zoo. There were about 10 pages, and it had a little snapping clasp to keep it closed.

I wanted that booklet, I had to have it.

We played with it all day. I mostly got to hold it because I reminded her she'd have it all night. As the sun was going down, panic of having to give her that book back began to set in. That's when I made the conscious decision to steal this photo book.

I told her that she should hide the booklet so her little sister wouldn't get it. Although she was sure her sister wouldn't take it, she agreed to go along with my idea to hide it. Of course I had the perfect spot. The barbecue grille in her backyard sat right up against our yards fence. I showed her a little "ledge" on the grille that would make the perfect hiding spot. She placed it there and we went in for the night.

Before I went to bed, I ran out into my yard, slipped my hand through the fence and grabbed the photo book. I remember taking it to bed and feeling so guilty, but at the same time rejoicing in my successful caper.

This is where I'd like to tell you I did the right thing and gave it back. I don't remember what ever happened, but my guess is I didn't do the right thing. Since I don't recall any other details, I'd bet I've blocked out my evil doing.

RuthAnn ... I'm sorry.

Do you remember the first time you deliberately lied, stole, cheated ... knowing it was wrong?

Six Word Memoir Meme

I've been tagged by Lori.
The assignment: Write Your Own 6-word Memoir

The rules:

1) Write your own six word memoir
2) Post it on your blog; include a visual illustration if you’d like
3) Link to the person that tagged you in your post, and to the original post if possible
4) Tag at least five more blogs with links
5) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

My Kids

I'm glad
they still come
home.

Instead of tagging you ... I'll leave it up to you to write yours.

Moanin' Missives

Dear guy behind me at the light,

I know we can turn "right on red". I hear you blowing your horn as you wave your arms in the air, pointing at the clear traffic and motioning me to turn right. Did it ever occur to you I am going straight? Just because you are turning right, doesn't mean I am.

Please don't give me your dirty look when I just smile and wave back. It takes a lot for me not to just hop out and get all up in your face.

Buckle up,
Nancy


Dear co-worker that I have written so much about,

You are a grown man. Why do you talk baby talk on the phone ... to suppliers? Why did you just call and say in a sing-song whiny voice "Hi Mikie, can you get *this part* delivered out here today, pwetty pweese. You can? Thanks hon-neee."

It makes me want to slap you upside your head McFly!

Professionally speaking,
Nancy


Dear lady in front of me at the check out,

You have over $100 in groceries, 80% of them being crap, junk-food, and frozen dinners. Why do you have to argue with the cashier over a .25 frickin cent coupon? Don't you see the 5 of us lined up behind you? When I handed you a dollar and said "here, this more than covers your coupon," why did you give me a dirty look? It broke the frustration in line and clearly showed you how stupid you looked and sounded.

If you need to pinch pennies, rethink those Hostess Ding-Dongs and multi-pack cans of Pringles. Your butt and your wallet could do without them.

Organically yours,
Nancy

Paint Project, Lot's of Pictures!

Be sure to read to the end [insert surprised look here]

I'm halfway through the "house project". Here are some before and after shots of the hallway, living room and kitchen. It's still all work in progress. Last night I painted the switch plate covers for the kitchen, so they aren't up in the pics. The hall and living room are a "dusty pea soup" color. The wall sharing the living room and kitchen is plum, and the kitchen is "bright ass goldy-yellow". (Yeah, the colors are the same as in my header here.)


I ordered brushed nickel drawer pulls on line last night. I also decided on louver bi-folds for all the closet doors. I'll probably get them this weekend at Home Depot.

I found "boobless" lights at Home Depot that come in three different sizes that will work throughout the kitchen, hallway and over the front door entrance.







I am ordering all new LG appliances today. I went with all white, with the handles being brushes stainless. I know everyone is digging the stainless look, but my kitchen is too small to pull that off. Also, since I painted all the trim white, I think the white appliances will work better.



I am still deciding on the window treatments, but the white paper is growing on me. [smirk] I'm sick of "blinds" and I'm seriously thinking of drapery ... maybe a casual grommet?

I haven't even began to look at furniture. Opinions? What about a deep burnt red sofa? Too much? Maybe just in an accent chair? A more neutral sofa with pillows in the plum, gold, green. and red? I'll recover the kitchen seats to match the new furniture.

Okay, here's the best part ... all the "after" photos above? I took them in succession last night. All within 5 minutes of each other.

These two are the very first ones I took. After these two first shots, I stopped and said, "OK guys, you're all fully of energy and enjoying the new colors, but please va-moose so I can take a few clear shots." And you can see, the rest are "orbless".

"Orb" visitors

That's My Detroit TIGERS!

So last night's Detroit Tigers game started out bad, really bad, okay they were stinkin' up the park.

It was my first game of the year and usually I am freakin' excited no matter what is happening. Not last night. First it was COLD ... especially once the sun went down. Then I was teetering on the fact that I am still getting over being sick from all of last week.

My first 7 innings were really about:




Seats: Look at these cozy cushy roomy seats with a table in the Tigers Den. (Thanks again Deb) It was Magglio Ordenoz night so they were giving out "Maggie" bats.

Food: I was going to get a hot dog and bag of chips. Dog $3.50, chips $1.50 BUT I noticed I could get a kids meal for $5.00 which was a hot dog, bag of chips, juice box, and a toy! I went for the kids meal.




Fountain: As I watched the water fountain shoot streams of cold water, I wondered how the people standing around it could deal with the cold water spraying them in the wind.

Parents: Watched a few sets of parents bringing their improperly dressed for the cold little kids to a late night game on a school night. And what about the mom that let the girls go off by themselves when they were clearly around 10 years old. Doesn't she read the papers about perv's out there in this evil world?

Cameraman: Why do you keep sticking the front of the camera through the hole on the right in the netting behind home plate for a few minutes then moving it 5 inches to the other hole in the netting on the left? There must be a reason.








Hot Dog Vendor: Aren't those bare arms cold? You're fun ... the way you sing super LOUD out "hot daaaaaaaawgs" in your opera voice.


And then the 8th inning.

Tigers 5 Minnesota Twins 9

The Tigers took over, they began playing ball ... GAME ON!
SIX runs in the 8th!

Final score Detroit Tigers 11 ~ Minnesota Twins 9

Does Comerica Park Need Excavating?

• Sunny skies, no rain, high 50 degrees, before the sun goes down.
• check
• Orange Rodriguez #7 T-shirt on.
• check
• Navy zip up hoodie with Detroit Tiger logo.
• check
• Winter coat.
• check
• Gloves and scarf.
• check check
  
• Fantastic seats compliment of Debbie.
• check

M'kay Tigers, I'm ready for my first game of the season ... but are YOU GUYS? Being the last place team in the Central Division ... not acceptable!

(Do you think there is an unwelcome jersey buried at Comerica Park?)

Babel Fish? No Thanks

I'm not big on "country music" but this song ...
this "Country" song ... I can relate to.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American.There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag. We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

~ Theodore Roosevelt ~
1907

Better the Second Time Around?

The past couple days, as I lay on the couch cursing the fact that I am sick, I found myself channel surfing. I watched a couple of my favorite episodes from MASH, Friends, Sex and the City, and Seinfeld.



I know I have seen all of these shows episodes several times over. I can quote the next line as I watch some of them.

One thing I realized though, I never watched any of these shows during their first run, original seasons. I only started watching as they became reruns in syndication.



Do you have a favorite series TV show that you never watched during it's original airing, but watched after it had been released again?

I'm alive ... I think

I've spent the past few days fighting off this unwelcomed house guest.

I think I'm winning. At least I'm up and out of bed.
Well, maybe just to head over to the couch.
Thanks for the e-mails of concern. It's nice to be missed.

Glow in the Dark Boobs

I didn't forget to post photos of my house panting project. It's still work in process. Long-ass overdue process.

It was just going to be some painting, but you know how that goes. New window treatments, new pictures and wall hangings, and one thing leading to another.

*Yeah, add the basement project to the mess.

Anyway, when I was prepping the hall, living room and kitchen before painting, I took down some of the ceiling lights. Two in the hall and one above the front door. They look very similar to this:


When they came down,

Caitlin said: "Eww, I'm glad you're replacing them."

Me: "Well, I hadn't thought of replacing them, I was just going to clean them and put them back up after painting."

Caitlin: "They remind me of boobs."

Now it's time to put them back up.

I can't. They remind me of boobs.

I started looking on line for flush mounted ceiling lights.

:::: Most look like boobs ::::

Maybe recessed? Any suggestions?

Political Sex

I remember when politics and religion were two eye-brow raisers.

Now its politics and sex.

I'm more than sick of reading about Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his lying sexcapades.

New York's Governor Eliot Spitzer took the lime light for a couple weeks.

Yesterday's news broke the story of Michigan's Senator Debbie Stabenow's husband ... busted paying a prostitute for some good times.

And now ... can this be true?
*wink*

April Fool .... NOT !

February 2002 - Basement remodeled, drywall, plush carpet, bathroom added. Faulty pipe in bathroom, one week later pipe breaks, basement floods, 1st insurance claim. $7,000

May 2006 - Power Outage, more than 4 days, sump-pump goes out, battery back-up goes on ... but power outage lasts longer than battery. Basement floods, 2nd insurance claim. $6,000

January 2007 - Sump-pump breaks, I'm not home, basement floods. Have whole new pump put in. 3rd insurance claim, $5,000

March 2008 - This past Saturday. Basement flooded. Different plumber comes and shows me where pump and back-up had been installed wrong. Pressure blew pump. Insurance adjuster came out last night, settled 4th claim $4,000 *** lower property claims because I learned and have everything stored in huge-ass Rubbermaid containers *** The cost is cleanup and new carpet and pad. They will be canceling my coverage because you can only have 3 claims in 3 years.

THIS MORNING - APRIL 1st My frickin' basement is flooded! I called the same plumber out. The sump-pump has a designated circuit and he didn't plug it into that outlet. He used another that has other things running on it and shorted that circuit!

I closed the door and came to work ... I'll worry about it when I get home.