I Should Go Into Stand-up....

....because my life just keeps getting funnier and funnier!


My refrigerator just died. Bah-waaaaaa!

Better my refrigerator than me?

OK, it was old, but not as old as I am .... it shouldn't get to go first!



BTW, I gave another sample for a "second look" ... results forthcoming.

Quite frankly, I am more worried about my dog's operation tomorrow and getting a new refrigerator than my own test results.

Tested ? Part 2

::: I can only laugh at this point :::

I just listened to my voice mail message from last Friday. It wouldn't matter if I listened to it then because it said:


"Hi Nancy, this is Sue, the nurse for Dr. Va-jay-jay. We are closed now, but please return this call to our office on Monday. It isn't an emergency."


Remember I just went in for my annual and preached to all who read it to get your check-ups?

So I just called, I got the voice mail for the nurses. They return calls after hours. Now, what do you suppose they want? I only had one test done, ONE, you know the one where they are looking for cancer.

To be continued ... after they call me back.


*** Update***

Well crapola. I talked to the nurse.

I know from the past, they usually send an "all clear" letter in the mail. She said not to worry, there was something "just a little bit off" but nothing serious.

??? right ???... I never heard that result before. I get to go back in for another test.

"just a little bit off"

like coloring outside the lines
"a little bit off"
or
walking a tighrope 50 feet in the air "just a little bit off"

big difference, lol

Am I Being Tested?

Since Michigan looks bleak, my goal has been to financially prepare myself for the unexpected. Keeping the ducks in line to make sure I don't go into panic mode if the bottom of my little world drops.

I have put off my annual dentist cleaning and exam.
I don't use a cleaning lady anymore.
I canceled my membership at LifeTime fitness.
I have the lawn guy come every-other week to mow the hay.
I quit getting acrylic nails.
Thank God Caitlin can cut and color my hair or I would have long dingy hair right now.

I have been debt free and want to remain that way.(except a mortgage)

With the expected changes coming at work, (if we even remain open) the loss of health insurance within a month, and the NO SALE of this house (which means a refinance and increase of $300 on a house payment)... I now have had an new dilemma.

Remember a couple months ago when Quinn hurt his leg? He is still a little tripod.
I had him examined again yesterday. If he was going to heal on his own, it would have by now.
Quinn is in pain.

He has a ruptured cruciate ligament in his left rear knee. With surgery, this can be corrected and after healing he'd be pain free and able to walk on all four.

When people talked of "saving" their pets, I used to think, "euthanasia is a lot cheaper than medical procedures."

It isn't from being too old or anything he brought on himself. He's like a third kid.

His surgery is scheduled for this Wednesday, 8AM
If you have a family pet ... you "get it" ... wish him luck =)

P.S. Ed? Ed McMahon???? You are cordially welcomed to come knocking at my front door with balloons and camera crew 'cuz ya know, I may already be a winner!

Blogher '07

Does anyone else feel like they should have accepted the invitation to the Par-taaaay conference? I feel like I passed on Prom, and now wish I went, even if I didn't have a date.

When I started my blog this past February, I saw the buzz about this "Blogher", but had no idea what it was about. I assumed it was for the click of "popular kids". I wasn't in that group in school, so I fit well into NOT being in it with this Blogher thing.

Everyone was talking about rooming with each other and participating in different events. I was clueless.

Duh, now I see so many of the women that are my daily reads are there. Some are even scheduled speakers. I certainly would have gone, had I thought about it more, just to meet some of these fabulous women.

This is the third annual conference ... I plan on going to the fourth.

Are you?

"You ROCK "

Last week MoodSwingingMommy gave me a "Rockin Blogger" award. In keeping with the flow, I get to tag five bloggers that rock. Instead of preachin' praises, I ask that you go check them out for yourself. There are more than five I would like to tag, but for now here we go:

Sunshine at and the pursuit of happiness ... is indeed rockin'. (she is on vacation, but she is so rockin' that she has guest writers lined up for your enjoyment)

Beth at Blind As A Bat ... always tellin' it like it is ... she rocks.
Michael at Captain Obvious ... well he ROCKS ... for obvious reasons!

Mary at Fightin' Mad Mary ... great shopping tips, fun photos, and a rockin' house.

Joan at Southern Suburbia ... she keeps it real ... no doubt in my mind Joan rocks.


If you chose, copy and past your award onto your blog, and then tag 5 others.

Match (dot) Not

It's always been my saying ... "NEXT" ... when an attempt at dating doesn't quite work out.


I was reading Pink's "Next" post, about her date with someone she met at Match.com. With a bit of hesitation, I decided to write an experience I had.

It was 1997. I was a new single mom. I bought a house, finished decorating the whole thing, bought a dog, Quinn, and my kids were doing fine. I decided it was about time I caught up with the real world and by a home computer.

I decided on a Gateway, for no particular reason, set it up and I was good to go. But go where? I had no idea what was "out there." I had heard about all the evils the web attracts. I started surfing around.

I had heard about "chat rooms" but again, had no idea what they were all about. I was with AOL at the time, (A Oh Hell) and decided to check out these chat rooms.

I started clicking into rooms, not knowing what to expect. I remember my first room, it left quite an impression on me. I signed in, started reading what was being said and thought, hey this isn't bad. Seems like nice people, nice conversations going on. Most of them said hello to me as soon as I got in. I said a few things and I was feeling comfortable enough to click over to a few profiles. It got even better, how lucky could I get? There were so many men in this room. Wait, they are all men. Then I noticed the room name was M4M, and ding, ding, ding ... the bell went off. OK, so I boot scooted out of there and paid more attention to room names.

I decided to get out of "romance" and settled into the "friends" category. I found a trivia room, much safer. I was in there, playing and winning this game. I stayed for an hour. Nothing bad happened, I thought why not go in again the next night. I began playing in that room for about a week and got to "know" a few names and started chatting with most of them.

I was talking to this guy Dave in IM's for the most part. Super nice man.
::: remember I am still so unaware here :::

I haven't shared this story with many, but here it is.

Dave and I talked for about a month in IM's and e-mails. He was divorced, lived in Chicago, weekend dad, had a good job, engineer of some sort. We began to talk on the phone. He had the sexiest telephone voice I had ever heard. (again duh me) We carried on for about another month, chatting on line, on the phone, and e-mails. I sent him a couple pictures of me he sent me a few of him. He was very handsome. I'd say 6'3"... dark brown hair, nice trimmed beard. He had good taste in clothes. One photo was with him sitting in his convertible sports car.

He wanted to fly me to Chicago to meet him. What do I look like? An idiot? (ahem) Noooo, I said he could come to Michigan to meet me. I sent him the name of a hotel in the area and we made a weekend plan. I picked the first weekend my kids would be with their dad. He was to fly in on Saturday morning and out Sunday evening. That would give us two whole days. I was thinking it wouldn't be enough time, I really wanted him to fly in Friday morning and I would take the day off work ... well jeepers ... I wanted as much time with him as I could get! He couldn't take Friday off, so I had to settle for the weekend.

Saturday morning, I heard a car door. I looked out ... an old rusty, powder blue, dodge van, about 15 years old sat there. Walking towards my door was a fat man, about 5'4", balding, really balding, with no beard and coke bottom bottle glasses. He had a dozen red roses in his hand. Whew, just a flower delivery man ... I got scared there for a minute. I went to the door, opened it up and the delivery man said "Nancy?" ... "yes" ... "I'm Dave". ::: my jaw hit floor:::

Ummm, OK, come on in. Then I said, right away, "You look nothing like your pictures". He fessed up they were old. I said "Did you think I wouldn't notice that 5'4" isn't even close to 6'3?" He reminded me that in the pictures I saw, he was sitting down. "And your hair?" "Well, it used to be fuller, at least I still have it."

I think he figured out real fast that I didn't sent fake pictures and that this was not going to be a Chuck Worley Love Connection. He said as long as he was here, lets just be buds and hang out for the weekend. I did enjoy our conversations, so I thought what the heck ... for about a second. Then I quickly remembered, the movie "The Titanic" was out and it was three hours and fifteen minutes long. Screw the fact it was a love story and that I had just seen it the weekend before. This would give me three hours to figure out how I was going to ditch this guy without him going postal and killing me.

When the movie was over, I drove us back to my house. When I pulled up in the driveway, I just told him point blank, this isn't going to happen, not even as buds. He was nice and understood and got in his rusty blue van and pulled away. The End! Never heard from him again.

Sure, in the past 10 years since, I have met a few others on line. Very cautiously, and with zero expectations. I suppose there are some happily ever after stories, but I have made more female friends online than male.

Maybe I should follow up this post with the guy I met for dinner once that "forgot to mention" he was paralyzed from his waist down and arrived at the restaurant in a wheelchair . Or the one that let it "slip his mind" to tell me he was married. Or the one that just wanted to be friends because he had a girlfriend, but could I pose for some S&M/Bondage pictures they wanted to take?

Getting picked up in a bar, the old fashioned way doesn't sound so bad.

My Dates Last Night:

Well, I started my date out with Mr.Google. After our meal, I changed seats and snuggled up next to Mr.Wikipedia for desert. I looked over on the dance floor and boy oh boy Mr. Spellcheck was moving and shaking, so I joined him. I ended up with Mr. Tweek and his friend Mr. Edit for a wee morning latte before I went home.

Sunshine asked me to guest post today while she is on vacation. She has asked a few others, and gave us a theme to use. The state we live in. I dug into it and forgot how many places I have enjoyed right here in Michigan. I think if I take a vacation this summer, I am going to stay right here where there are many things still I haven't done.

Go on over and visit her site, you can see how my date went *smiles*

\m/ Rock On

Mood Swinging Mommy thinks I rock! Actually, I think she gave me this award because I am always lurking around her site Am I Going Mad or Am I Just a Mommy. Seriously, thank you, my first award!

Click on that first link for her 100 things post. #12 is a fun fact, #45 whoa, she's a smart cookie, #83 I like how adventurous she is.

I think I'll hold on to this award for a day and then I'll pass it along.

Hey ! Hey ! You ! You ! I Don't Like Your New Song

Is anyone else sick of hearing Avril Lavigne's latest obnoxious song?

"Girlfriend"

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend.

Yeah, she's just the type I'd love my son to call his girlfriend . . . NOT

Conversation Hearts: That's My Girl

I posted a couple weeks ago that I was going to participate in this weekly photo project. I have submitted photos for the past two weeks. It's been interesting to see what other people post. This weeks theme is plastic.

I thought about it a couple days and took this picture of my cupboard. I decided it was too unimaginative, so I scratched that idea.




Last night I took this photo. I was thinking it a step further, she is made of plastic and if she were a real person, Barbie would be the ultimate plastic woman, far surpassing even Posh.

I decided it wouldn't be perceived like that without explanation, so I scratched that idea too.

Although I have a week to submit a photo, it was bothering me that something so simple was becoming obsessively difficult for me.

Enter Caitlin:

Me: Hey Cait

Cait: Hi Mom

Me: Cait, when I say plastic, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Cait: Charge cards ... hey, want to go to the mall?

I submitted this, a combination of what we had in our wallets.

My .02 Cents Worth ...

Of course, at the time postage went to .41 cents, I had rolls and rolls of .39 cent stamps at work. I bought the .02 cent stamps, but for the first week I kept getting back my sent mail because I kept forgetting to add the extra stamp.

I like the .02 cent stamps ... they are pretty and I can be creative. (Enter, the the strait-jacket)

I'll bet nobody else can say that their CPA called to tell them their stamping abilities are artistic and creative. ( I don't think I heard a chuckle, he must have just had a tickle in his throat) I didn't get a picture of the first envelope that went to his firm ... it was in a circle, with the .02 cent stamps in the center.

Here's what went out today.

Now I wonder, who has too much time on their hands?
Me or him?

Spectacular Speculum

Yep, this morning was my turn girlies! All is well and another year before I have to don my paper gown and put anklets in my purse because I hate the thought of riding that table cowboy with my feet in community stirrups. (Yeah, even though they have disposable covers on them.)

Since I have been 18 years old, I have gone for an annual check-up ... or should I say "check-down" without fail. I feel superstitious about it. Since I've never missed, I am afraid the first time I do will trigger some sort of va-jay-jay voodo that will cause me to have a negative outcome.

Actually I was curious to be weighed on a "doctors" scale. Don't we usually think since we're in a medical office, what ever it reads out must be gospel? I hopped on the scale and thought, well ... still is good, but I was hoping my scale was waaaaaaaay off. When my doctor was going over my chart, she looked at my weight and said "oh Nancy, our scale is wrong ... you have you subtract 3 (yes, she said SUBTRACT THREE) more pounds". In doing that, I realize my scale is correct, AND that I have lost 2 more pounds. This brings my total to 28 pounds.

::: doing the Snoopy happy dance here for a moment :::

Anyway, my post is really for a public service announcement.

Make that annual appointment and celebrate it as you do your birthday. Have cake and ice cream too if that is a motivator to go.

Signed ~
Warm Duck Lips Please

Brad Pitt, Creme Brulee, Big Sun Glasses

Biddy tagged me with this meme:

1. If you could invite three people to dinner, living, dead, or fictional, who would you invite and why?
2. At this dinner, what would you serve?
3. If you could go back in time and live in any era, which would you choose?

The dinner party question has always been out there, but don't you find your answers change throughout the years?

For now I would invite Brad Pitt for eye candy and to PO Angelina 'cuz she's being a b*tch by holding Shilo as hostage to Brad's mother for remaining friends with Jen. (Don't I sound like a rag mag?) I'd include my sister Sandi, because she is a much better cook than I. As everyone else does, I'd ask Jesus. I know, we all have so many questions to ask, but I think we have to wait until his time before we get answers. So I will include him so that he can just turn the water in our glasses into wine.

Dinner would be grilled salmon, wild rice, steamed asparagus (white and green) and creme brulee for dessert. Sandi can cook that, no problem ... JC will supply the wine.

Let's see, to go back in time? I'd prefer into the future, but since I have to pick a past, I'd say send me to the 40's ... Hollywood California. I'd want to be a glamorous fur wearing, platinum blond, with big, umm ....sun glasses, movie star.
No drama, no drugs, no on the couch script readings, just the "already arrived" fun time. (yeah, I know it's all smoke and mirror history)

Instead of tagging anyone, if you want to do the meme, just link back to me so I can read your answers.

"She's Got Bette Davis Eyes"

NOT!!!

More like Uncle Fester






The upside ... I have now lost a total of 26 pounds. The last two pounds took a little longer to va-moose. I wasn't gaining at all, just staying the same. I was getting a little bit pissy about it and va-walla, I am down the two.

There has been some changes. Yes, I am in a smaller pant, top, bra, even undie size, but something else is happening.

I have always, even as a young kid, had dark circles under my eyes. I refer to them as the "Uncle Fester" look, or the "heroin addict hasn't had a fix today" look. Over the years, I have been able to conceal them with make-up.
Make-up is not working.

I keep looking at my eyes wondering WTF? Is it because my face has lost weight too, that they are really prominent? Could it be part of the "over fifty" thingy that I constantly refer to?


If I have to go around looking like a member of the Addams Family, why can't I be Morticia?

Do you have any pearls of wisdom on how to lighten or conceal this look? I would certainly appreciate any advice.

Sonia is a Starfish Thrower

I wasn't going to post today, until I read Sonia's post "Homework Assignment for Peace" this morning.


I can relate to exactly what she is saying because I, like many of us, wonder just how one person can really make a difference. I usually stop at that thought because even though most of us, as individuals, would like to do something visually significant, we can only do little bits in our day to day lives. But isn't living in a day to day mode of doing what we can a symbol in itself? An example to our children? To our community and so forth? It starts the ball rolling.

Sonia said "But I'm just one little person. Just one." And to that I say Sonia, you have posted what "one little person" thinks, but it inspired me to post my hopes and thoughts also. I am going to make sure I smile today at five people that probably don't deserve a smile, but then again, maybe they are the five that really need it the most. I thank you for that challenge.

Look at what Lori did as "one little person." Another example of a thought, passed on through her blogging that inspired more to join in and make a difference.

This is to remind all of us, we as one can make a difference:

The Star Fish Story

by Loren Eiseley (1907 - 1977)

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

Conversation Hearts: Cait and Puma

Last week Caitlin started looking for a kitten. Big mistake, girls can't just look. Since she is getting her apartment mid August, I guess she was afraid the world would be fresh out of kittens by the time she moved. I reminded her, no kittens in my house.

As I sat in the dark last night, because we lost power, I heard Caitlin's car pull up the driveway.

Cait: Look, I got a kitty!

Me: You better be joking, I told you to wait until you move out.

Cait: Once I saw him, I couldn't leave without him ... so we have a new kitty.

Me: WE??? WE as in you and who because I said I don't want a cat!

Cait: Umm, me and Quinn .... look Quinn, you have a baby brother.

Damn if Quinn didn't take an instant liking to the little bugger. So now there is a kitten living in my house.

::: shakes head ::: There better not be any glitches in her move out date, make that their move out date.

Meet Puma:

Energy

When Lori at This Just In, posted about this photo site, I decided to join and have fun with it. I sent a photo last week, another today. Professional photographs and candid shots have been submitted. All in fun, and some are amusingly interesting.

This week (and it's not to late to sign up and post your photo) the theme is energy. I posted this picture I took of the ugly electric pole behind my house. Somehow, with the rainbow, it didn't look quite as bad as it normally does.

(If you click on on, it looks better bigger)

Just Another Day?

What do you think?
Are 7's really lucky?


How many people will buy lottery tickets today?
With the 7 combinations?
Many weddings are planned for today, lucky 7's or just an easy date to remember future anniversary's?

How about a few "seven" facts:

The seven deadly sins, or cardinal sins, are pride, avarice, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

Seventh Son of a Seventh Son was the seventh studio album released by heavy metal band Iron Maiden in 1988.

At a ceremony in Lisbon on 07/07/07, presumably at 7:07, the results of a global vote for the New Seven Wonders of the World will be announced.


The common ladybug has seven spots.



In the vision of the apocalypse described in the Biblical book of Revelations there are seven churches of Asia, seven candlesticks, seven stars, seven trumpets, seven spirits before the throne of God, seven horns, seven vials, seven plagues, a seven-headed monster, and the lamb with seven eyes.

The seven virtues are humility, liberality, chastity, kindness, abstinence, patience, and diligence.

A prism splits white light into seven colors: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet.

Who wore #7 ?


Mickey Mantel ~ New York Yankees
John Elway ~ Denver Broncos
Tim Horton ~ Toronto Maple Leafs (but was more successful as the coffee icon)
Ben Gordon ~ Chicago Bulls




Seven ... The name George Costanza wanted to name his first born ... boy or girl.

As for me, I think I will just toast to the date with a 7and7.

"Superstar"

A lot of people laughed at The Carpenters. I did, you probably laughed too. Think of how many brides and grooms danced to that dorky song, "We've Only Just Begun".

Karen and Richard were so "uncool" when I was in school. A girl drummer and a goofy crushed velvet wearing wimpy looking guy. To top the geekness off, they were a brother and sister act.

A few of the blogs I read on a daily basis have been reminiscing about their favorite music from high school, college, and the 80's.

I was in high school in the early 70's. Not one person would ever admit to listening to or liking The Carpenters. Who on Earth would ever buy one of their albums?

::: Raises Hand :::

Hello, my name is Nancy, I am a recovered closet Carpenter fan. I no longer deny how great I think they are.

"Close to You" ..."Rainy Days and Mondays" ... "Top of the World" ... and my favorite "Superstar" were chart topping hits, never to be played at a school dance or house party. We would switch the radio station if they came on because who would actually listen to THAT?

They achieved number one hit after hit ... platinum records ... an extremely successful career. Albums, tours, television shows, performances for royalty and presidents. Someone was buying into them. Perhaps I wasn't the only one stashing Carpenter albums under my bed.

Besides being professionally accomplished musicians and song writers, they had an ability to captivate and entertain with a polished, clean, and fine tuned sound of their own. I am sure, at the time, they were mostly appreciated by a more adult contemporary listener ... and uh, closet high school fans.

Karen married and unfortunately died at an early age from an eating disorder, anorexia and bulimia. Richard married and has three daughters and one son. He has continued to keep The Carpenters legacy going.

Rarely do I hear a Carpenter song on the radio, but when I do, I no longer switch stations, but blare it as loud as I can.

Do you have a "closet" favorite band or singer?

"Superstar" ... yes she is.

Proud to Be An American

Happy 4th of July. Although I have no picnic to attend, or fireworks to shoot off, or anything red, white and blue to wear, I celebrate today, because I am fortunate to be an American.

Caitlin and I have lazily enjoyed sleeping in then watched "Dream Girls". She trimmed my hair and we ate lunch while watching a stupid reality show. Quinn is excited we are home, and Bryan must be sleeping in because he hasn't answered his phone. *Maybe he partied late last night, or is parting through out today* I will call him tonight.

Freedom, to do nothing, in this household, on our day off, is a luxury many in other countries won't have today ... or even tomorrow. Wars, politics, hatred, famine, disease, power, unnecessary death, are the evils living in our world, but freedom, by the Grace of God, may she always win.

Two of my favorite posts I read today:
Sonia ~ Happy 4th!
Kevin ~ Liberty

Extended Weekend "Fun"

... so where was I? Yesterday I posted that my weekend brought me awful poison ivy, 2 bee stings, and the wasp nest to destroy.

Remember my new car? My Pontiac G6 that has about 480 miles on it? The one that is supposed to look like this?

Yeah, well a very sad now, 19 year old girl forgot about looking behind when pulling out of a parking space. I think she remembered the moment her rear bumper hit the side of my car. I'm sure she thought the blare of my horn, just as she was about to hit me, was for somebody else.

Actually I wasn't upset at all. I felt bad for her. I looked and saw her head drop into her hands and I wasn't sure if she was hurt or crying. I jumped out of my car and ran to her. When she got out she was crying and so upset. I hugged her, asked her if she was OK and reassured her that as long as no one was hurt, we didn't need to be upset. I reminded her these hunks of metal can be repaired or replaced and the most important thing was we weren't hurt. I asked her how old she was and then told her I had a daughter the same age and it could easily be my kid in this situation.

It happened in front of my bank and just then a teller came running out. It was her daughter that hit me. I explained I needed to make a police report, without intent to get her in trouble, but so I wouldn't have to pay a deductible or have my rates increased. They understood, and I told her since it was on private property, she wouldn't get a ticket. (I'm sure her rates will go up though) Police came, she admitted fault, and no ticket for her.

So, I made a claim, got an estimate, $2,247.56, and I am just thankful nobody was hurt .... oh, and that it wasn't my daughter who hit someone!

Oh Yeah, Fun Weekend ...

NOT.

On Thursday, I noticed some familiar spotting on my arm. I knew it was poison ivy and began over the counter treatment. Last night I was wishing I could just fillet my skin, it would feel much better than what I was going through. First thing this morning, I was at the doctors getting a shot, script, and cream. This photo is mild compared to other spots I won't gross you out with.



Wasps are nasty little buggers. I have had them nest under the wood steps off my door wall, between the gas meter and the downspout, and up in the outside lights on either side of the garage door. They must know I am on to them and decided to nest in a bush, right next to my front porch. Not knowing of their new hangout, I decided the bush needed trimming. They decided they were not going to let me remodel their neighborhood. I got stung twice. After dark, I had my Glock in one hand and a can of Raid in the other. One way or the other I was going to unload on them. I took this photo this morning ... it appears they have relocated.

And how was your weekend?