It Was All "That Lady's " Fault

How were we to know?

We thought 5th Ave. was such a cool area to hangout in downtown Naples, Florida.

That is until "that lady", the one that started talking to us, told us oh no, you girls need to go to 3rd Ave. Third is where all the fun is. Third is more for you two. (Huh? Do we look like Wayne and Garth, party on!)

She also told us we just HAD to eat drink key lime martini's at Tommy Bahamas on 3rd.

With an hour wait for a table at Tommy's, we decided to check out the area. To get into the "key lime" mode, we ordered a glass of wine and a key lime tart around the corner.

(sorry, blurry cell phone shots)

I seem to have been acquiring a "boyfriend of the day" since we got here, and tonight was no different.

I decided I was going to hold out, wait for the real worthy one. But, it wasn't long until I caught his eye. He kept beckoning to me. He was so forward, insisting I come over to him rather than him joining us. He was playful enough and kept nudging me. He has killer eyes and I admit, I was smitten right away. I couldn't hold back, I had to kiss him. Even though I'd prefer to keep conversation light hearted when I first meet someone, this dude just wanted to let me know he was hung like a ... well, you get it.


We finally got a perfect outdoor table at Tommy's and ordered our first (of a couple) key lime martini's. My-O-My!



Graham cracker crumbs, for rimming the glass (snort :rimming: sorry!)
2 lime wedges
6 T. vanilla flavored vodka
¼ cup key lime liquor
2 T. pineapple juice
2 T. heavy whipping cream
Ice

Pour the graham cracker crumbs into a shallow dish. Rub a lime wedge around the edge of a martini glass and roll the edge in the graham cracker crumbs. Chill the glass for 30 minutes or until ready to serve.

Combine the vodka, key lime liquor, pineapple juice and cream in a shaker. Fill the shaker half full with ice and shake until well blended. Pour into prepared martini glass, garnish with a lime wedge and serve immediately.

We shared coconut shrimp and sea bass and so many laughs. The table next to us was celebrating someones birthday. They were co-workers and family, grandmas and twenty somethings. All party animals and dancing to the live entertainment. They were moving down to 5th (bwahahah, see, we knew it was a cool place) and extended an invitation for us to join them.

We had a great night. What happens in Naples, stays in Naples.

Biotch

Oops, I mean beach.

Just like yesterday, we are spending the whole day at the beach.

Yesterday was just a dress rehearsal.

Vacation Update

Cliff note version ... make that an update in pictures.
(click on pics to enlarge)

House hunting with Sandi.
(should be almost dead billionaire next ex-husband hunting first)

My new backyard.
(in my dreams)

Picking out a new boat.

A visit with Marv & Mom, Venice, Florida.

My niece Tiffany modeling draperies, quite well I'd say.
(needs a tasseled tieback)

How does this statue fit in with a Florida theme?
It's in Sarasota, shouldn't it be in New York?
I bet a lot of 12 y/old boys peek up that dress!
(and why did we take a picture of it?)

And for our exercise, we're learning this:
(Justin, we need you)

No Way We'll Be Getting Any Cocktail Peanuts After This!

Hi MM readers - Tiff here, aka "Fannee Doolee" - Nancy's niece. I asked Nancy if I could guest post while she is on vacation. Ironically, I am on vacation, too, and not too far from Thelma & Louise (or Lucy & Ethel, as the case may be). My vacation started with an experience with a Delta employee that had me not only missing my blogging days, but seriously concerned about the mental health of airline employees . . .

We flew out Sunday morning, EARLY. Not surprisingly, I bustle up to the gate 5 minutes before boarding, with An and baby Bridget in tow. We check in, get a claim tag for the car seat, and prepare to gather our bags, when the Delta gate agent shoves two frequent flyer applications at me and An. He doesn't ask us, but tells us - "Here, fill these out and bring them right back to me." I plan on using my three remaining minutes before boarding to hit the rest room, but rather than explain that to Sir Pushy, I shove the applications, Delta pens attached, into my carry-on bag and prepare to board.

I run to the bathroom, run back, and gather my baby and my bags as they call our zone to board. As I walk past, my hands obviously full, the gate guy again asks, "So, did you fill out those applications for me?" I shake my head and roll my eyes as I walk past, thinking the answer must be obvious. "I'll do it on the plane and turn them in at the next airport." I call out.

"Wait - I need those pens back!"

Like I said, it's early, I'm pre-occupied, so I assume I must have heard him wrong. He really didn't yell after me to bring back two very cheap ink pens, did he?

Squish, push, shove, lift, cram, cram, buckle - I am winded and sweaty by the time we are settled in our next-to-the-last-row seats, carry-on luggage stowed, and all other passengers impatiently waiting for us to get Bridget quieted down.

I look up, and who do I see walking down the isle, all the way to the back of the plane, to find me - the lady with the baby - who I'm now trying to discretely nurse.

"Mam, could I get those pens back from you? Those are really hard to come by."

Dumbfounded, I dig through my bag, but can only find one. The other is now part of my permanent (and apparently priceless) collection of writing utensils:


I mean, could this really be worth more than the apparent 39 cents? Should put it up on e-Bay? Is there a special auction listing for items precious only to disfunctional Delta airline employees?

. . . . and now, back to your regular programming. Thanks, Nanc!

I could get used to this life ...

Without intention to bore with the same ole thing [smirk] yesterday, we had another great day at the BEACH.

We started at the "The Dock" with brunch, both of us ordering Mimosa's and lobster/brie omeletts. It was excellent!

We were lucky enough to be seated right on the waters edge. As we ate, we watched the boats leaving for an obviously fun filled day.


Today is an early rise ... to the beach.

Then? Shopping. I swore I wouldn't waste one minute shopping while I was down here. But, I have a slight problem.

I have five swim suits with me. All are suits I've used when SCUBA diving. All suits have been worn under my dive skin and my wet suit. Since they are always worn under something, I never noticed, until my sister hysterically pointed out...they all give me uniboob! So my mission is to find a couple suits that ahem, fit better.

Good Lord, how could I not notice that ?

Tuesday we're heading up the coast to visit my mom in Venice. We'll continue on to Sarasota, where Sandi's daughter is visiting her other grandmother, to do what else? Hang out at the BEACH.

And Don? Your son and daughter are here, I'm here, and we'll be happy when you're plane gets in. I'm trying to figure out a way we could all stay until spring.

I Don't Want to Go Home

Chops City Grille
on 5th (is there any other street?)
Naples, Florida

Sandi and I went in just before the dinner rush hour. We were seated immediately.

Joseph (boyfriend of the day) went above and beyond the call of duty to make sure our dinner was perfect.

I began with a pomegranate martini, San ordered a glass of Pinot Noir. Both very good.

I chose Blackened Salmon with a Bourbon brown sugar glaze, that included sauteed spinach and "creamier" potatoes. All was superb, but I passed on the potatoes and would have preferred it served with wild rice.

Sandi's entree was Panko Encrusted Orange Grouper. Served with sauteed mango, snow peas, broccoli, and red peppers, in a citrus sweet and sour sauce with brown rice. She enjoyed it all and said she wouldn't suggest to change a thing.

We shared cheesecake with a berry topping. I'm not even going to go further. I'm sure just talking about it would add another 30 bazillion calories into my system.

Joseph paid close attention to timing and the service was perfect.

I'd highly recommend Chops City Grille, and ask for Joseph as your server.

And today (Saturday) ... a day at the beach ... is there anything better? I think not.

Here's my new buddy, I call him Jonathan ... he hung out with me all afternoon. I guess my hand feeding him Tostitos was his motivation for befriending me.

There's always a catch, isn't there?





*Hush about the no make-up ... I'm on vacation, no one knows me so I can go without it.

Riddle of the day:

Q:What happens when two sisters,
are in beautiful Florida on vacation,
it's 2 o'clock in the morning, both are slap happy and
they hear there is a major snow storm hitting their home town
on the day they are scheduled to arrive back home?

Michigan ?

Florida?

A:They go online and extend their vacation SIX more days!

Lookin' for my lost shaker of salt ....

Yesterday ... (as best as I can remember it)

We woke up early to get a good long almost sunup to definitely sundown day on the fantabulous Florida Keys.

The drive was long, but quite easy. I think we made if from Ft. Lauderdale to Key Largo in just over 2 hours, and that's not knowing where we were going. (and probably a little speeding was involved)

I've never been there, Sandi has, but many years ago. Halfway through the keys, we stopped at Lazy Days to eat. We were seated on the outside deck. People were waiting for a shaded table, not us snow white girls from Michigan, give us the SUN baby!

This was our view as we ate lobster filled wraps. We may have had an adult beverage or four to wash it down.


As we headed south, we passed "Theater of the Sea" ... obviously a touristy thingy. We had a brochure and it said dolphin show, parrots, seals, and tropical fish adventure. Sandi asked me if I wanted to check it out.

"Sure, let's do it" (really thinking "I don't want to do some F*ing tourist trap, but Sandi must want to)

As we were cattle prodded from show to show, I was thinking how it really was a nice quick (2 hour total) show for little kids and old, OLD people.

We started with Wilbur the trained seal that did the usual tricks and ended his show with a smile.


The dolphins were my favorite and the show they did was typical, but the little kids around us were really enjoying it.


I liked the tropical fish, turtles, and nurse sharks, but I can't help feel bad that they are in captivity. I'd rather see them while on a SCUBA dive.


The parrots? What parrots? There were parrots in this show? Mr. Hawtness was supposed to put on a show with his trained parrots, but I don't recall seeing any parrots. Sandi said she didn't notice any parrots either.


We could have continued on, checking things out on our own around the grounds, but I suggested we leave so we could get to Key West sooner.

Sandi was SO GLAD thinking "Whew, glad Nancy had her fill of this f*ing place. I did my sisterly duty and hung in on this lame tourist trap for her. Would have been my last choice of how to waste 2 hours of my life."

When it was over, we continued south. We were going to Key West to finish out the day at the beach to watch the must see sunset. Words cannot express a sunset on Key West ... you just have to experience it.


On our ride back to Ft. Lauderdale we discovered two things:

1. From now on, if one or the other really doesn't want to do something, or stop somewhere, speak up because we forget we are SO much alike, we probably are just "being nice" for the sake of the other.

2. If you make a wrong turn in downtown Miami at 11:30 at night, you just may find yourself in the red rent district using the Club Pink Pussycat neon lit sign to navigate yourself outta there!

Beaches, Boats, and Burned!

As I was saying ... after Sandi's ordeal, we hit the bar on the beach, soothed the frazzles, then went for a long walk.

My turn to freak out.

The good folks at the Miami International Airport Avis Car Rental, were quick, super friendly, and even gave us an upgrade. The whole get shuttled from the airport, get in line for the car, get the keys and go was super fast and easy. I thought for sure I'd be calling them to bring us out an extra set of keys.

After walking and hanging out on the beach for a couple hours, we decided to head back to the hotel. As I stood up, I did the pocket check for cell phone, check, sunglasses, check, lip balm, check, and car keys, shit! Sandi was laughing at me and I was calculating how much it was going to cost to have Avis come bring a spare set out. Then I realized anyone who found them could walk the stretch of parked cars hitting the lock button and listen for the horn. Everything was in the trunk, cameras, purses, charge cards, cash ... blech, I was feeling ill.

We started walking back and in less than 50 feet, there they were sitting smack dab in plain sight. I don't know how or why anyone else didn't pick them up. Enough people had walked by from both ways. Lucky me.

Today was major beach day.

Hollywood Beach, meh .... Pompano Beach, very nice ... Ft. Lauderdale Beach, really nice ... tons of great people watching. Sandi was careful, she used sunblock, but got burnt. She's quite red tonight. I wanted to get pink, some color at least. I didn't use any sunscreen and I have nothing. No color except what I got in the tanning bed in Michigan before I left, which isn't much anyway! Not even the typical burnt nose. Don't laugh at my fish-belly-white skin. I still have a few days to work on this.


We watched as they filmed a Coppertone commercial on Hollywood Beach starring Brooke Shields. We didn't see her, but we didn't want to stay around much longer. They take forever to set up one shot.

We headed to Bahia Mar Marina to check out the Yachts. All I can say is whoa! I've never seen so many beautiful mansions boats at one time in one spot.

Googled for this photo because I though it uncool to say "Hey, y'all mind if I take a picture of your floating McMansion?" We did, however, get an offer to meet tomorrow morning for a "boat ride" with Dave and Bill!?!?! We smiled, took his card and said, "We'll call you back on that."
(We won't be making that call.)


So tomorrow (Thursday) we are headed to the keys for the day then on to Naples and the gulf area for five more fun filled adventurous days!

Oh yeah, sorry Ree, I hear the weather back home SUCKS ;)

Thelma & Louise Lucy & Ethel

Day one of Thelma and Louise heads to Florida, started out more like an episode of Lucy and Ethel.

I woke up Monday morning for work at 5:30 am and I haven't slept yet.

I picked Sandi up from her house around 3:30 this morning (Tuesday) and headed to the airport. We got parked and shuttled to the terminal in record time and all seemed easy peasy.

We stood in line, Sandi behind me, to go through the TSA checkpoint. I was corralled off to one line and I thought Sandi was in the line next to me. It went something like this:

Me: Starting to take off earrings, 3 rings, 2 bracelets.

TSA Officer: (make that young cute TSA Officer) You don't have to take them off, it's okay.

Me: Starting to take off zippered hoodie (cuz I heard someone else being told to)

TSA Cutie: Don't worry about it, your cool.

Me: Taking off black leather silver studded belt.

TSA Hottness: Um, yeah, take that off! And the boots, you have to remove them too.

[cue stripper music] So I danced slightly through the full body scanner.

All done, out the other side and as I was starting to put my belt on, I realized I didn't hear or see Sandi. I got the belt and boots on and peeked back into the line. No Sandi.

Okay, I assumed she was a few rows over in another line. I craned my neck and didn't see her.

This is like five minutes later and still no Sandi. I asked a security guy if he knew what happened to her. I couldn't go back through the check point and look. He had no idea.

Just as I was going to call her, I see a frazzled sister walking my way. Frustrated and her bags obviously rumbled through, she said her wallet with her ID was missing. They let her through ... go figure! It must be in the gene pool, using persuasive oratory.

But we were through and on to the gate.

I handed my boarding pass to the attendant, he scanned it and I started to board.

I turned back and .... no Sandi.

Off to the side were two security officers, making her take off her zippered hoodie, raising her arms as they scanned her body. I'm all WTF and she's doing the eye roll, claiming she "fits the profile."

We got in our seats and took off on time.

Sandi looked over at me and said:

"You know, we have a flight change in Altanta and I don't have any ID."

Looooooong story just slightly longer ... we made it to Florida and this was our first stop:

Tomorrow, I'll start at the part where I lost the car rental keys somewhere in a 2 mile stretch of oceanfront beach sand. Oh yes I did!

Roadtrip! [via air]

Thelma Sandi (my sister) and Louise I have had enough of this long, cold, dreary, did I say L O N G winter! Sub zero temps the past couple months, snow so high it will take until August to melt ... no wait, our flippin' sixty degree temps last week melted most of it and the rain that followed dissolved the rest.

So, it snowed this past Saturday. And the prediction for tonight through Wednesday? More S N O W. And the temps ... mid 20's.

Hasta la Viesta Baby!

Our bag's (one bag each, meaning we don't want to need much more than shorts, T's, and swimsuits) are packed, our flight leaves in less than 24 hours and a car awaits us at the furthest point of Florida.

With nothing more than a GPS and ZERO plans, we will be hitting the road to ... humm, where are we going San? Beaches, water, beaches, sunshine, beaches, foo-foo drinks, cabana boys, beaches, and slathering on the suntan lotion as we go.

Our plans are as well thoughout as Thelma and Louise. (With the slight adjustment of no killing of any men, not by gun point at least, and no cliff diving at the end of our trip.)

Can't say we'd pass on picking up Brad Pitt though, if he's out there hitch-hiking.

We'll have our cameras and laptop and post along the way.

TEN, count 'em TEN days in Florida to do nothing or everything, what ever we want!

Nancy likes to.....

Ree, The Hotfessional, tagged me for this bazaar google game on Facebook, but my oh my it was so funny/goofy/true (kinda) ... I had to post it.

Rules:
Google Game: Go to Google and type in quotation marks your name and then "likes to" (ex. "Steve likes to"). Type in the first ten things that come up and repost in your own note.

1. Nancy likes to fook with me. (Who's this me character?)

2. Nancy likes to watch Deal or No Deal while she's having sex. (This is funnier than you think, and no, we won't go there)

3. Nancy likes to shop's professional profile on LinkedIn. (Oh, you can't call it trolling on LinkenIn? It's now shopping?)

4. Nancy likes to knit. (Ummm, no)

5. Nancy likes to golf? (Ummmm, sure, meet me at the 19th hole)

6. Nancy likes to do her own thing. (I'll do other's things too, but not on the first date)

7. Nancy likes to indulge in her hobbies of science fiction art.(Indulge in the arts of Ben & Jerry's maybe)

8. Nancy likes to kick butt, and then humiliate the female by stepping on her face. (I think that's called role play)

9. Nancy likes to accessorize herself with sparkles and glitter.(And tiara's)

10.Nancy likes to daydream and is apt to have many wishes and illusions that rarely have a chance to materialize. (Maybe I need to lower my expectations)

I went right down the line. These were the first 10 ... unbelievable!

If you decide to do this, please let me know so I can read it.

Paraskavedekatriaphobia *

I am not superstitious.

I don't think lucky charms are the answer to winning at bingo or in casinos. I am positive Aunt Trina and Grandma Bridget would have totally disagreed.

I had a beautiful solid black cat years ago, "Overday", and she was forever walking in front of, around, behind, over, and under me ... the walk between my legs routine too, and never once did I consider having her being unlucky. On the contrary, I was the lucky one to have had her for the many years that I did.

I tend to tempt chance and can't help but walk under ladders when I come across them, just to see if anything happens ... nothing has. I think if something did happen, it would only be because I would be checking out the construction worker, window washer, or painter that was distracting my attention.

Breaking mirrors? I can't even count how many vanity mirrors I have dropped over the years ... can't someone make unbreakable ones?

Do you pick up the lone penny for luck? Throw salt over your shoulder? Lift your feet over railroad tracks? Hold your breath as you go past a cemetery?

To me it's just Friday, end of the work week, and the date just happens to be the 13th.

OK, now I think I will cross my fingers and hope this post doesn't bring me bad luck!




* This is a repost. I posted it my first year, when just family were stopping by.